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Total beginner here. Any advice for anal play?

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Contributor: mistressg mistressg
So I am totally new to anal play. Well...not totally new to it- my ex used to sometimes put one finger in during sex and foreplay (which was great), and I had anal sex once or twice many years ago. However, my currently partner has made mention that he really wants to have anal sex. Mind you, he is...pretty well endowed. His penis is at least 2-3 inches bigger than the person I had anal sex with years ago the one or two times it happened. Not to mention, his penis is a lot thicker as well, which is the biggest issue I think. So, I am wondering, what should I do do work my way up to anal sex with him? And how quickly could I possibly get to that point? What could I do, other than just using a finger, since that doesn't bother me at all. I've recently tried practicing with my dildo, but I could not even get it all the way in. I used a lot of lube, and could only get it so far even though I was relaxed as I could get.

So...any advice?
04/25/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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04/25/2012
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
Work your way up. How big was the dildo? Start smaller than that, go, like, a quarter of an inch in diameter smaller.

Instead of just one finger, go two... that's an inch and a quarter in diameter, right there. Then work your way up to an inch and a half. It'll take time, sure. Just go slow, don't force anything. Keep yourself at a certain circumference for awhile, a couple of weeks, until you're comfy with it. Then move up. Rinse, repeat.
04/25/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Time. This is something that will take some work. You have a great start, work your way up with toys until you get to his size. As far as how long goes, that depends on you and how often you work at it. I was pretty aggressive with going bigger and bigger and it took me three months to get to 1 3/4" diameter toys. You could take longer or shorter, it just depends on your body. Lots of lube, toys and relaxing will get you there. Just enjoy the stimulation and be aware of your bodies warning signs. Any pain or discomfort is your body telling you that you are doing to much.
04/25/2012
Contributor: Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Time. This is something that will take some work. You have a great start, work your way up with toys until you get to his size. As far as how long goes, that depends on you and how often you work at it. I was pretty aggressive with going bigger and ... more
That is pretty much what I was going to say.
LOTS of lube and gradually stretch yourself with toys and fingers. It won't be easy or quick, but your body will get there.

Good luck!
04/25/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
I wish there were more toys like this on EF, but in silicone! I don't want other materials.
04/25/2012
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Don't worry about quick. If you want to do it let it happen when it happens - rushing it is no fun.

First steps are to learn how your anus reacts and learn about the feelings. I'm not sure if you enjoyed your prior penis-anal experience, but it sounds like you enjoy buttplay, which is a good start.

Move slow, make sure you use plenty of lube, and do bring your current partner into your play as soon as you're comfortable - using fingers and toys, not his penis. Not until you know you're ready, anyway. Anxiety encourages clenching, which leads to pain.
04/25/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
I just posted this is another forum, but I figured it was relevant to this one as well, being that you've all had great insight to this point.

"..I've recently found myself wanting to get more into anal play, and considering anal sex with my current partner. The other night we had sex, reverse cowgirl. He put in a finger or two, and even moved them in and out and it felt fine for me. Today, I tried practicing with my champlette again and was playing with a bullet on my clit and it all felt really good. I ended up pushing the champlette a little bit further, then a little bit further, until I realized the whole thing was inserted to the base! I was surprised, and it didn't hurt at all. In fact, I came in less than a minute. I used a lot of lube, but maybe should have used a little bit more (I would like to invest in a more anal-friendly thicker lube). I could even move the dildo in and out without feeling any pain. However, once play time was over, and I took out the dildo and set it down to remove the condom I had put over it I noticed a tiny red spot on the tip of the condom. I got nervous! When I took the condom off, and wiped myself off I noticed a very tiny bit or red. Being [pretty new to anal play, this was and is disconcerting. When I went to the bathroom after, I noticed that there was some red and lube in my stool. It's not like there was blood everywhere, not even like dripping or anything, but more like spotting just tiny bits. Still. I'm worried! Should I hold off on anal play for a while? What could go wrong if I try anal with my partner tonight? "
04/26/2012
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by mistressg
I just posted this is another forum, but I figured it was relevant to this one as well, being that you've all had great insight to this point.

"..I've recently found myself wanting to get more into anal play, and considering anal ... more
The most likely explanation is that you didn't have quite enough lube in the anal canal or rectum, and the toy damaged the surface of the mucosa a bit. Since there was just a little blood it will probably be fine, but do get a better lube or use more (if you use a thin lube squirting some into your rectum can help.

The other reason this can happen is if you aren't careful and either don't warm up enough or direct a toy with a pronounced head too hard against the wall of the rectum.
04/27/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
The most likely explanation is that you didn't have quite enough lube in the anal canal or rectum, and the toy damaged the surface of the mucosa a bit. Since there was just a little blood it will probably be fine, but do get a better lube or use ... more
Thanks for the tips! I really do want to get a thicker, better lube soon. I''m thinking Sliquid Organics Gel. Maybe Sliquid Sassy. Not sure yet.

I was proud that I got it to work, and that the whole thing fit and felt great, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to give it a go with my partner instead of a toy...but then the spotting scared me off! It didn't hurt at all, it's just the blood made me nervous. I was like "Oh god, what if there's some sort of internal damage? What will I do? How will I know? But it didn't hurt at all! Ahh!" I was put off, but I plan to use even more lube next time (which will probably be within the next 24-48 hours). I really wish I just had a thicker bottle of lube on hand now!
04/27/2012