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Scott - thanks. Although we haven't gotten to toys yet (anally) but use a heating pad on her glass vaginal toys. As you say keeping clit stimulation in the equation is vital - she 'drives' her favorite clit vibe while I use a dildo vaginally - so this is also what the plan is when we move to anal.
Originally posted by
ScottA
Make sure to keep some clit stimulation in the mix while you're doing buttplay, but do make sure it is with a different hand or toy. Go slow, use warm toys/lube, and do some talking about why she likes external play but is less enthusiastic about
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Make sure to keep some clit stimulation in the mix while you're doing buttplay, but do make sure it is with a different hand or toy. Go slow, use warm toys/lube, and do some talking about why she likes external play but is less enthusiastic about internal play - it could be cleanliness concerns (find a way to deal with them) or worries about it hurting (use enough lube, go slow, and practice relaxation exercises. Start them out in a safe place, because sometimes people equate relaxing the anus with a mess that might need to be cleaned up.
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Our anal adventure is mutual - I'm learning as well. I always ask her to use a plug, vibe or glass dildo on me anally while giving me a BJ or HJ. As she's able to observe how I adapt to penetration, she's starting to get her mind around the concept for herself.
Personally I prefer the thrusting of a dildo to a static plug - although a vibrating plug is good for when we're having intercourse - she can feel the vibes coming from me. My next step is going to be to try to have her accept a vibe anally so that I can feel the vibes - we'll see how that goes.
Thanks again for the ideas.