Feeling Ashamed

Contributor: MAy86 MAy86
My boyfriend and me kind of split do to the fact that he was leaving for a 30 day rehab and possible half way house program after. Which he decided to sign up for. He knows I play with myself, but he really does not like it. I do not know if it because he wants to be playing with me and is jealous or cause he does not really get to get himself off so her is jealous in that aspect. I have come to the terms that what her does not know wont hurt him. But I feel bad cause I really would love to be making love to him and my toys. What do you think? I am have always been honest even if he does not like the truth. It is just a moral that I live by. Honesty! I feel so torn, I am always horny and well he is over 2 hours away.
10/28/2011
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Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by MAy86
My boyfriend and me kind of split do to the fact that he was leaving for a 30 day rehab and possible half way house program after. Which he decided to sign up for. He knows I play with myself, but he really does not like it. I do not know if it ... more
I don't exactly know what to say, or give you any advice... But, if you have a monogamous relationship with him and you are giving yourself pleasure, there is nothing for him to be upset about. I think it would be different if you were off gallivanting with other men, but this is not your case. Also, if you split up, or are taking a break during this time while he gets better, why would he be upset? I also don't think you need to tell him what you do in private, especially if you are no longer together.
10/28/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Breas
I don't exactly know what to say, or give you any advice... But, if you have a monogamous relationship with him and you are giving yourself pleasure, there is nothing for him to be upset about. I think it would be different if you were off ... more
I agree right here. Maybe he just has too many personal issues to deal with right now with being jealous. Usually people that are that jealous is for a reason. Don't tell him you masturbate, and do not let him find your sex toys. Just get discreet lipstick ones. He does not have a say what you do with your own body as long as it is not cheating.
10/28/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I think sktb0007 and beck said it better than I could, but I do agree with them.
10/28/2011
Contributor: MAy86 MAy86
Thanks for the reply's I agree. He should not be getting upset it is my body. Why be jealous? It is just silly. I did see that lipstick one that is a really good idea. Thanks again
10/28/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
I agree right here. Maybe he just has too many personal issues to deal with right now with being jealous. Usually people that are that jealous is for a reason. Don't tell him you masturbate, and do not let him find your sex toys. Just get ... more
I too agree with Beck but add, dump the foolish guy.
10/28/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by MAy86
Thanks for the reply's I agree. He should not be getting upset it is my body. Why be jealous? It is just silly. I did see that lipstick one that is a really good idea. Thanks again
Nobody should be allowed to tell you what you do with YOUR body. Preferences are one thing, but to full-out be upset about it is another. My husband has tattoos that I don't care for, and things like that. He asked my opinion first, but ultimately, he made his own decision and did what made him happy. Find someone who respects your opinions, and isn't afraid of you making yourself happy.
11/27/2011
Contributor: Cherrylane Cherrylane
In the blunt words of Dan Savage, dump the motherfucker already.

I personally, doubt anyone wants to have to hide something like that from your partner, just as no man should have to be shamed over occasionally watching porn on the internet. And they certainly don't want a partner who makes that kind of value judgement on something like this.

Also, don't just "take a break while he gets better" or anything like that. I totally understand if he's going through a hard time, however, you also need to do what's good for you. It's not your job to wait around and sneak around until he can sort himself out.
11/27/2011
Contributor: Girly Girl Girly Girl
i think that´s ok you´re not cheating ,,, i think he should not be mad about it
11/27/2011
Contributor: mom&wife08 mom&wife08
Quote:
Originally posted by MAy86
My boyfriend and me kind of split do to the fact that he was leaving for a 30 day rehab and possible half way house program after. Which he decided to sign up for. He knows I play with myself, but he really does not like it. I do not know if it ... more
i agree with the 2nd comment on here. pleasuring yourself is fine to me and im married. my hubby knows what EF is sorta, we watch dvds i have gotten from here and he enjoys them yet makes me feel bad bout it b/c its a "porn site" when hes behind me when im getting points lol. makes no sense
12/05/2011
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Quote:
Originally posted by MAy86
My boyfriend and me kind of split do to the fact that he was leaving for a 30 day rehab and possible half way house program after. Which he decided to sign up for. He knows I play with myself, but he really does not like it. I do not know if it ... more
Playing with yourself is nothing to be ashamed about, it is completely natural. Does he masturbate? I don't understand his jealousy because to me masturbation is a completely normal and healthy way to get to know your body. I believe it is your body and you should do what you feel is right. Don't try and change yourself to fit someone elses needs.
12/08/2011
Contributor: geliebt geliebt
Masturbation is definitely not something that warrants jealousy. I must agree with the others in this thread; there is nothing wrong with masturbation and I don't see room for him to be jealous or upset about it. You either need to talk with him about it and resolve the problem, flat out dump him, or completely hide your masturbation from him. The last option, in my opinion, really isn't an option though.
12/10/2011
Contributor: Jake'n'bake Jake'n'bake
I actually was part of a discussion kind of like this before, and in the same place myself. Telling someone to not masturbate because of jealousy is both not fair and the sign of an extremely controlling individual ( with a handful of exceptions, of course ).

If he's afraid you're going to like your toys more than him, you should talk with him about it, but if he keeps pushing the issue, then it might be time to find yourself a new boyfriend. I know from experience that letting a person get away with controlling one aspect of your life can lead to them trying to control more and more til it's ridiculous and unhealthy. ):

You should really not be made to feel guilty at all for something that's perfectly normal.
12/11/2011
Contributor: MAy86 MAy86
Thanks everyone. We had a long tong, and he has gotten better since I have required more items for us to use together. He knows I am a horny gal and has to just deal. I really think he is jealous because he wants to be doing the play and making me feel good. I really appreciate everyone's advice and I thank you all so much. It is nice to know there are others out there that are willing to give others advice.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
Playing with yourself is not cheating! Trust me, he probably does it all the time! Never let anybody stand in your way of pleasuring yourself. To most people it's lika a cig. It helps take the edge off and allows you to relax. It looks like you'll be stressed out for awhile seeing how he's doing rehab so I would just tell him it's either I do it or...
Actually he sounds a bit like an ass if he's telling you you can't play with yourself. I coould see if he was trying to make the sexual tension build untill he was "Free" but if thats not the case I would leave it.
02/13/2012
Contributor: MR Chickhabit MR Chickhabit
nevermind.
02/13/2012