The New Intimacy

Advice on Protecting Privacy

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Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Related to: 
Plugged In: Sex Scandals Made Easy
Given many of us are reviewers and fans of sex toys and sex in general and we are all using the internet we've probably all run into times when we've wanted privacy or had our privacy violated in some way we did not foresee... so what works for you? What steps do you take to protect your sexual activities online from going public.

What hasn't worked for you? Or what do you wish you had done to protect yourself before you were exposed in some way?
07/29/2010
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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I wish I had thought to make a separate Twitter account right off the bat. But otherwise I keep Eden off of other sites that I wouldn't want people to know about it, and in general I have all my privacy settings set to high. I got really mad when facebook changed whatever they changed that made it so that now my profile picture was visible, lol
07/29/2010
Contributor: PolyGirl PolyGirl
I usually don't worry about stuff like this. But I wasn't very happy when someone from here used my email address (I guess), which I don't use on my profile, to find me on facebook. That just seemed a e-community faux pas to me. I don't think people should do that. So, I might have considered using a different email address when I signed up if I'd thought that might happen.
07/29/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Really good topic to talk about.

I take my internet security pretty seriously because of a certain evil policy that has not yet been repealed. And also there are just some people I don't want knowing about my sex life (i.e. anyone I share a bloodline with).

So I use a completely separate, private email address for this account as well as any others I want to be kept away from the email addresses I actually use on a regular basis. I even use fake names. And I never get too specific about myself or where I live.

What I really hate is that now it seems all websites have this facebook connectivity and it can TELL I have a facebook account. And with one wrong click, it could connect to my account and post crap on my page. I think if my family saw my EF stuff, I'd be mortified.
07/29/2010
Contributor: Love Buzz Love Buzz
I don't use my real name
I only use a gmail email address rather than one from my isp & use it only for online sexual related activities.
With any kind of online profile, from EF to blogger and twitter I keep out anything identifiable, and other than my sister who was the one who got me into toy reviewing none of my IRL friends are following me.

Another Idea for those who blog under their own domain is to use either a po box or a dummy address when registering your own domain (or pay to keep your info kept private from whois.com, a site where you can look up all of the details related to the registering party of a particular domain name.

I'm a lot less worried about my friends or family finding out than I am of psycho stalkers discovering any kind of personal identifying information.
07/29/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Although I use my real first name now, I don't ever use my real last name. Lately I've been thinking about merging my two identities, so to speak, but I'm very wary of doing that. It's just sometimes it seems unavoidable. I just don't know.
07/30/2010
Contributor: *Keona* *Keona*
Keeping everything seperate is really the best way to go, that includes accounts of any kind and touchable family/friends and long distance/internet friends. Posting photos of yourself might not be a good idea either. It would be pretty bad to be walking through the mall and some random person approaches you saying that they know you from twitter or facebook.
07/30/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Given many of us are reviewers and fans of sex toys and sex in general and we are all using the internet we've probably all run into times when we've wanted privacy or had our privacy violated in some way we did not foresee... so what works ... more
I generally don't try to hide anything since it seems that the things I try hardest to hide are the first people find. I am very open about my life and will answer just about any question asked politely. I don't have a job where public opinion could cause my career to go bye bye either so I'm kinda lucky. When people find out about what I do on EF they almost treat Sigel better cause I think they feel sorry for him and admire him for putting up with his sex crazed wife! Gotta love MidWest values...
07/30/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I generally don't try to hide anything since it seems that the things I try hardest to hide are the first people find. I am very open about my life and will answer just about any question asked politely. I don't have a job where public ... more
Wooow. My first reaction wouldn't be to feel sorry for ANYONE. I agree that it's really weird.

I wish I didn't have worries that forced security to be a top issue.
07/30/2010
Contributor: AU AU
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Really good topic to talk about.

I take my internet security pretty seriously because of a certain evil policy that has not yet been repealed. And also there are just some people I don't want knowing about my sex life (i.e. anyone I share ... more
That ability to connect with Facebook terrifies me!! I don't want those people there to see this face. Some of them know it, but family, co-workers? I think maybe I should also switch email accounts...

I have always known not to keep "naughty" photos on Facebook or Myspace. I'm surprised people do that at all. But I do know a few people that include that aspect of them as a part of their public face--they know the risks and are mature adults.

There is so much talk villainizing places like Facebook over privacy matters. I find it all very simple--don't share anything there that you don't want everyone knowing. There are other places to do that. But it is getting harder now that everything is connected to it. Again, I don't like the ability to connect here!
07/30/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by AU
That ability to connect with Facebook terrifies me!! I don't want those people there to see this face. Some of them know it, but family, co-workers? I think maybe I should also switch email accounts...

I have always known not to keep ... more
I totally agree! No matter how good the privacy settings are on any site on the internet, once you publish something it will forever be available to someone depending on how bad they want to find it. So I just make sure to keep very personal or private photos or statements off my facebook and the like.

I just freak out when I see the little facebook "F" symbol as a button and it says, "Be the first to "like" this on your page!" or "Share this with friends!" because I know that if I were to accidentally hit that button, it would automatically connect it to my account.
07/31/2010
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
I totally agree! No matter how good the privacy settings are on any site on the internet, once you publish something it will forever be available to someone depending on how bad they want to find it. So I just make sure to keep very personal or ... more
Yeah, those buttons freak me the hell out. I know the internet is all about connectivity between sites these days, but it still shoots my nerves.
08/02/2010
Contributor: Femme Mystique Femme Mystique
I try to avoid accidentally sending my mom a link to my reviewer profile (again!).
08/02/2010
Contributor: Phoenix713 Phoenix713
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Given many of us are reviewers and fans of sex toys and sex in general and we are all using the internet we've probably all run into times when we've wanted privacy or had our privacy violated in some way we did not foresee... so what works ... more
I just try not to get my feelings involved. That helps a lot. I mean, being on the internet we're bound to get caught up in privacy violation sometime. But at least we have some anonymity.
11/02/2010
Contributor: J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Given many of us are reviewers and fans of sex toys and sex in general and we are all using the internet we've probably all run into times when we've wanted privacy or had our privacy violated in some way we did not foresee... so what works ... more
For career purposes I keep things very separate...BUT my friends and family know my lifestyle (for the most part).

Here's how to preserve privacy:
1. EMAIL make a separate email with a different name
2. TWITTER keep a separate account and for the love of Pete don't put your real name because it will remember it and when people Google you it may come up.
3. SOCIAL NETWORKING I have a separate FB for reviewing ALSO I turn my private page off and only have my review FB page open while surfing the web to avoid accidental "likes"
4. BLOG my faux email is the blog email and I never used my real name (ok, last name...Alley is actually my name) when registering.
11/02/2010