The New Intimacy

#SexIsSocial - The Social Lover: Your Guide To Having More Communicative Sex

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley


The Social Lover: Your Guide To Having More Communicative Sex, by BiteOnThis! - Click here to read the full article.



BiteOnThis advises on how to become more open with your partner and to better communicate the things you may want or need in the bedroom. At Eden, we may feel that we are as open and honest with ourselves and our partners as we can be, but is that really true?

For some, there are hard lines about open relationships for some and our partners may be willing to suppress their desire to explore this experience in order to preserve the relationship.

For others, there are hard lines regarding pornography or water sports or well, really. If you pick an act, we can probably find someone who doesn't engage in it and refuses to even think about trying it.

In those cases, what do you do? If you have a need and/or want and the details have been discussed and questions answered but you still hear no, what is your next course of action?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Do you...
Break up after exhausting all efforts to communicate your desires.
BiteOnThis , quinceykay
2
Deal with it. It's one act, it's not going to make or break a relationship.
Kindred , Sammi , Alan & Michele , 123joy , Adriana Ravenlust , bratcat , SassySam , AmethystSmoke , Sera26 , Zakkie , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , ShadowedSeductress , wetone123 , SexToys-R-Us
14
Keep trying to explain how you feel and why it's important.
ginnyluvspotter , Adriana Ravenlust , Molly Carter , unfulfilled
4
.
sexytileena / absolutely love sex
1
Are you into kinky things like BDSM and other 'non-vanilla' acts?
Sera26 , Zakkie
2
Yes! It's a lifestyle for me.
BiteOnThis , Molly Carter
2
Yes, we dabble here and there.
ginnyluvspotter , Kindred , Sammi , Alan & Michele , Adriana Ravenlust , bratcat , SassySam , AmethystSmoke , quinceykay , Sera26 , unfulfilled , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , ShadowedSeductress , wetone123
14
No, it doesn't interest me.
No, but I want to and my partner doesn't.
No, my partner wants to but I don't.
..
Other. I'll explain in the comments...
Total votes: 39 (20 voters)
Poll is closed
10/18/2012
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Contributor: ginnyluvspotter ginnyluvspotter
Interesting poll!
10/18/2012
Contributor: BiteOnThis BiteOnThis
I am so flattered you would follow up to my article with such an interesting poll, Stormy. It's true, so often we settle because we are so unsure of what will be accepted by our partners, friends, and community. Is it really worth the sacrifice?
10/19/2012
Contributor: SassySam SassySam
love this poll
10/20/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
It's hard when you have two different ideas on sex, but as long as you can find a middle ground and keep communicating with each other about your needs and desires then hopefully one can find a common ground or a compromise that works.
10/22/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by BiteOnThis
I am so flattered you would follow up to my article with such an interesting poll, Stormy. It's true, so often we settle because we are so unsure of what will be accepted by our partners, friends, and community. Is it really worth the sacrifice?
Rayne selected your article, so a thanks goes out to her as well.

It can certainly be a touchy subject in many households, especially these days.
10/22/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
It's hard when you have two different ideas on sex, but as long as you can find a middle ground and keep communicating with each other about your needs and desires then hopefully one can find a common ground or a compromise that works.
I always worry about what happens when a middle ground can't be found. If someone has a hard no, who is the one who needs to compromise?
10/22/2012
Contributor: ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
I think it really just depends on HOW important it is. I mean, there are a few things that I am interested in but my partner is not. It's not a huge deal, especially because we are both fairly open. There are a few things that one of us could be interested in, and the other says not yet rather than no. I was never open to anal and one day I changed my mind for some reason. I think if you love each other and respect each others boundaries the subject should be left alone and maybe revisited later.

A lot of times you can push your points so much that they stop listening to what you are actually saying, and instead say no. I find that backing off the topic when they start to get flustered and revisiting later works wonders. That's how I managed to get my straight boyfriend to agree to some anal play for him.
10/22/2012
Contributor: ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I always worry about what happens when a middle ground can't be found. If someone has a hard no, who is the one who needs to compromise?
I honestly feel it depends. If it is a hard no then in some cases there may be a substitution to get them used to the idea. Or rather something not quite so "extreme". A lot of times they may find they enjoy that, and might be willing to try the next step.
10/22/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by ShadowedSeductress
I honestly feel it depends. If it is a hard no then in some cases there may be a substitution to get them used to the idea. Or rather something not quite so "extreme". A lot of times they may find they enjoy that, and might be willing to ... more
Right, I mean my husband has been trying to talk me into anal sex for years and one day I might get down with it, but today is not that day!
10/23/2012
Contributor: BiteOnThis BiteOnThis
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Rayne selected your article, so a thanks goes out to her as well.

It can certainly be a touchy subject in many households, especially these days.
I'm glad you mentioned that--Thanks Rayne!
10/24/2012