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#SexIsSocial - Do You Think It's Better to Have Loved and Lost...?

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley


Do YOU think it's better?, by PropertyOfPotter! - Click here to read PropertyOfPotter's view on whether or not it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.



Love can be a wonderful thing; it can also be the source of some of the most devastating times in our lives. Is it better to have never loved at all? Or are the experiences we encounter because of love more than worth the risk?

Do you think people set their expectations too high for relationships? Has the media's interpretation of "true love and romance" skewed our expectations in real life?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
It is better...
13
To have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
26
It is better to have never loved at all.
9
I'm undecided...
2
.
1
Would you say love is overrated?
4
Yes!
1
No, not at all.
32
I'm not sure...
3
..
1
How many times would you say you've had your heart broken?
4
Zero
5
Once or twice
16
More than once or twice
7
Too many times to count...
11
Total votes: 135 (39 voters)
Poll is closed
09/20/2012
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Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
I would have rather loved and lost the person but walk away with learning lessons.
09/20/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Thanks for sharing my article Stormy!!!

I already shared my opinion in the article I wrote, but I didn't express how many times I've had my heart broken.

I think I've loved and have lost more times than I've loved and haven't lost. Between my friends abandoning me because my life changed, being in a loveless marriage, and experiencing the death of someone who I had become extremely close to...I've been through a lot.
09/20/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
Every experience you have in your life enriches who you are as a person and makes you stronger, wiser and more capable of dealing with other issues. The growth of you as a person would not be possible without some trials.

Love is the one emotion that is so encompassing and strong that it has become a necessity in our lives--not just an occasional happening. To lose it to feel the pain, sadness and fear that helps us to empathize with those who are less fortunate and need human kindness. To have never felt loss is to have a sterile and unappreciative oulook on the best life has to offer. How can you appreciate the good if not for the bad?
09/21/2012
Contributor: LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
The amount of pain I had to go through due to my harsh break up with my lying, cheating verbally-abusive was too much to bare. I'm serious, it almost killed me, but that's a long story. I wish I never met him or wasted my love on him. I've been abused in the past and he was the first man I trusted with my heart and body, and he threw it away. If I could change time, I wish I've never fallen in love with him. I just can't relate to when people say that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all; it all just sounds like a bunch of nice bullshit to me.
09/21/2012
Contributor: LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Thanks for sharing my article Stormy!!!

I already shared my opinion in the article I wrote, but I didn't express how many times I've had my heart broken.

I think I've loved and have lost more times than I've loved and ... more
I need to check out your article, because just by reading your comment, it sounds like you went through the same kind of abandonment. My friends turned their backs on me ever since I got sick with this incurable pancreas disease . I am so sorry that you had to go through so much pain.
09/21/2012
Contributor: sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
For me I rather have loved and lost than to never loved at all.
09/21/2012
Contributor: Bethy Cassatt Bethy Cassatt
Some could say I have cared too much, that I invest in things so transient, I'm just going to hurt myself. It's the only way I feel like I'm living though: Better to have dated the ass or lived with the wrong person and learn and grow because of it than regret never living or trying anything.
09/21/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Thanks for sharing my article Stormy!!!

I already shared my opinion in the article I wrote, but I didn't express how many times I've had my heart broken.

I think I've loved and have lost more times than I've loved and ... more
Neat surprise, huh? It's a good piece.

I have yet to experience the death of someone close to me; I am dreading the day. I can't imagine what that feels like.

Did writing this help the healing process?
09/21/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Every experience you have in your life enriches who you are as a person and makes you stronger, wiser and more capable of dealing with other issues. The growth of you as a person would not be possible without some trials.

Love is the one ... more
I think there are some who just feel it's an all or nothing situation. If there's even the slightest chance of being hurt, they'll either take the opportunity to strike first or they will remove themselves.

I sometimes have to stop myself from asking, "why does any of it have to be bad, why can't it all be good??"; the answer of course is because it can't be and that's just the way it is.

Fairy tale dreams of utopia and all that.
09/21/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by LadyDarknezz
The amount of pain I had to go through due to my harsh break up with my lying, cheating verbally-abusive was too much to bare. I'm serious, it almost killed me, but that's a long story. I wish I never met him or wasted my love on him. ... more
If nothing else, I hope the relationship taught you how to recognize the traits of an abuser before you become so invested. I'm sorry you had to experience it, no one ever deserves it.

Have you ever considered counseling other women on their experiences or maybe working with foundations supporting research for your illness? It might be a good way to meet people who won't turn away from you and who would understand the things you're going through.

I'm not trying to compare the two situations in the slightest, but my husband has an issue with sciatica. It flares up occasionally. I always kind of felt like, if he isn't taken to bed then he's probably okay.

The other day I went to step out from the little cubby space I've built for myself and as I turned, my brain was in full gear but my legs weren't. I heard my hip snap and then that gut-sickening pain started. For the next four days, every time I moved I felt like someone was snapping a rubberband underneath my skin. Never again will I question the level of pain he feels.

I had to experience it to understand it.
09/21/2012
Contributor: pixylove101 pixylove101
Never loved at all. So you don't have to feel that heart wrenching emptiness that is left when they are no longer there.
09/21/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I'm always going to go with I'd rather have loved than not. I think every person we are in contact with on a regular basis somehow forms who we are. We take the good and bad experiences and come out stronger.
09/21/2012
Contributor: Sir Sir
I've not ever been in a relationship where I was either not lied to or cheated on in some fashion. Every person I've been with has been unfaithful to me - who knows why. I have fallen in love twice, and though it molded me into a better human being, I would say that it ultimately was not worth the trauma that I incurred.
09/21/2012
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Do YOU think it's better?, by PropertyOfPotter! - Click here to read PropertyOfPotter's view on whether or not it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.



Love can be a wonderful thing; it can ... more
I'm a pessimist when it comes to love. It's not worth the heart ache afterwards to me.
09/21/2012
Contributor: kitty1949 kitty1949
I am too afraid to open myself up to anyone. I avoid love and feelings out of pure fright. It's something I'm trying to work on, but it isn't easy.
09/23/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Do YOU think it's better?, by PropertyOfPotter! - Click here to read PropertyOfPotter's view on whether or not it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.



Love can be a wonderful thing; it can ... more
It is possible to have your heart broken and still be with the person..I dunno which is worse. I do know that if I had never loved I would be bereft. For me it is so much better to face losing than to be completely without. The highs are worth braving the possible fall.

The times I have loved and lost there was so much I learned about myself and about living that it was so very worth the heartache.
09/23/2012
Contributor: Femme Mystique Femme Mystique
"It is better to have loved a short person and lost than to have never loved a tall."

-Unknown
09/24/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Femme Mystique
"It is better to have loved a short person and lost than to have never loved a tall."

-Unknown
That's awesomely adorable! Thanks for posting it!
09/24/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I wish everyone could experience a deep and true love at least once in their lifetime. I think it definitely changes who you are, but deep and true love is not without its issues. We all make mistakes. I suppose the difference is if the person genuinely understands why they made the mistake and actively try to avoid doing it again.
09/24/2012
Contributor: T&L T&L
I think its better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all! I have always felt this way, "I can rest my head just knowing that you were mine, all mine" - Guns N' Roses - "November Rain"!
09/27/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Neat surprise, huh? It's a good piece.

I have yet to experience the death of someone close to me; I am dreading the day. I can't imagine what that feels like.

Did writing this help the healing process?
To some degree, yes. Thank you again Stormy!
09/27/2012