How Do you Tell your Partner

Contributor: CrystaCat CrystaCat
How do you tell your partner if you guys are trying a new toy if it hurts without ruining the mood? I am a little shy when it comes to this..I try to just be slick about it and try to get him to move toward something else but it doesn't always seem to work..Sometimes he is having to much fun and I put on that pretend face, I am sure I am not the only one. What do you do?
12/18/2011
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Contributor: indiglo indiglo
If it hurts I say "Ow, that hurts". Honesty is the way to go. You should never keep going when something hurts you. Pain is the body's way of warning you that you may be causing an injury.

And a loving partner would be crushed if they knew you were laying there hurting and not saying anything. Just tell him it hurts, don't beat around the bush with something like pain!
12/18/2011
Contributor: CrystaCat CrystaCat
I am very new at this and I want to be mentored! How do I go about this? I am new but I need something to keep me busy my husband is away every other week working god only knows where. I am in a new town trying to make friends but its not working that well we are so far from everything. I need a friend or to. My friend Beck got me started in this.. It very cool
12/18/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
He would not want to continue if he knew it caused pain (unless that's what you're into and it sounds like it isn't.) Do tell him. He won't be offended.

Would you want him to suck it up and tolerate something you did that hurt that you intended to be pleasurable?
12/18/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
If it hurts I say "Ow, that hurts". Honesty is the way to go. You should never keep going when something hurts you. Pain is the body's way of warning you that you may be causing an injury.

And a loving partner would be crushed ... more
~nods Totally agree
12/18/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Pretty much just tell him. Either "Ow that hurts" or "This isn't working, let's do something else" are both good options. Believe me, nothing ruins the mood like one partner not enjoying something. My lover has stopped me when I did something that he didn't enjoy, so we just switched things around and kept going.
12/18/2011
Contributor: Drakoni Drakoni
Just say ow or uh-oh and follow it with a suggestion to do something different. He'll jump at the feedback and gladly try something else with the toy. It's better to be honest. Otherwise, he'll get the wrong idea that you really like something that hurts and keep doing it.
12/18/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I always just say that it's hurting me, and we either try to use it another way (maybe the angle is off) or I'll try to use it solo for a few minutes to see if I can find a way to make it more comfortable, or we just move on.

I was shy at first about saying something because I was always worried about hurting his feelings or ruining the mood, but I have found that if I'm not enjoying it really the mood is ruined if I DON'T say anything. He likes it a lot more when I'm enjoying it, because he likes to make me feel good So, just be upfront about it
12/18/2011
Contributor: LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
If it hurts I say "Ow, that hurts". Honesty is the way to go. You should never keep going when something hurts you. Pain is the body's way of warning you that you may be causing an injury.

And a loving partner would be crushed ... more
agreed.
12/18/2011
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Quote:
Originally posted by CrystaCat
I am very new at this and I want to be mentored! How do I go about this? I am new but I need something to keep me busy my husband is away every other week working god only knows where. I am in a new town trying to make friends but its not working ... more
I will be your friend! You will make plenty of friends on here : ) Go to the available mentor list and do some research about who you feel compatible with.
12/18/2011