is it cheating if your husband/boyfriend doesnt know?

Contributor: biangel88 biangel88
biangel88
Related to: 
is it cheating if you have a sexual encounter with the same sex and your hubby/boyfriend doesnt know about it?
07/19/2011
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Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Would they be unhappy if they found out? Cheating isn't about the actions but the dishonesty.
07/19/2011
Contributor: Acorn Acorn
Yes, I think it's cheating.
07/19/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
if your partner, or what your relationship has established has it labeled cheating, then yes.

otherwise, it's a bit of swinging, solo, no?
07/19/2011
Contributor: Waterfall Waterfall
Yes, even if no one knows it is still cheating...
07/19/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
Sure is.
07/19/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
I think this really depends on the agreements with your partner and your intentions.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by biangel88
is it cheating if you have a sexual encounter with the same sex and your hubby/boyfriend doesnt know about it?
Yes it is cheating if you haven't discussed this with your partner BEFORE you do the act.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
Yes.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Yes...
07/20/2011
Contributor: slynch slynch
YES!
07/20/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Yes, ma'am, unless you have an open relationship or an agreement that allows you to do things without him. Any act of mistrust exists, whether it's found out or not. If you stole from your partner and they never found out, you still stole. Getting caught and punished is not the determination of a wrongful act - the act itself is.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Linga Linga
Definitely!
07/20/2011
Contributor: Penguin Penguin
Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes.
07/20/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by biangel88
is it cheating if you have a sexual encounter with the same sex and your hubby/boyfriend doesnt know about it?
Of course. If you don't have an agreement that allows both of you to have other partners, it makes no difference if he "knows" or not.

If you steal something and the store doesn't realize it, is it still stealing? It makes no difference if you usually buy Milky Way and you stole M&Ms. Why would the gender of the person you had sex with make ANY difference? It's still sex, and it's still something that was behind the back of the person you have an implied or legal contract with. (Unless you have an understanding that both of you are allowed to have sex with other people. But, then, you wouldn't be asking.)

The ethics are in the act AND the idea behind it, and what is a known or implied contract. That's like saying "It's only wrong if you get caught." If it's wrong if or when he finds out, it's still wrong if he doesn't find out.

The gender of the person you have sex with makes absolutely NO difference. "It doesn't count because it was an other chick." holds no water. You are still sexually and emotionally involved with a person other than your bf or husband. Unless the two of you have an Open Relationship and allow each other to have sex with other people, WHY would the sex of the "other" person make a single difference?
07/20/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Yes.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
It most certainly is!
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it still makes a sound.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
If he doesn't know and he didn't approve of it prior to it happening, it's still cheating.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
Certainly!
07/20/2011
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
I have to agree. It would be cheating to me if I were in his shoes.
07/20/2011
Contributor: JessCee JessCee
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Of course. If you don't have an agreement that allows both of you to have other partners, it makes no difference if he "knows" or not.

If you steal something and the store doesn't realize it, is it still stealing? It makes ... more
I love this. Thanks, P'Gel. I agree though, whatever gender and weather he knows or not...those are not factors in deciding if it was cheating. I think if you have to ask, its probably yes.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
It does indeed count as cheating.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I am seriously interested to see if anyone actually says it isn't cheating.
07/20/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
yes, it's cheating.
07/20/2011
Contributor: CAKES CAKES
Yes, definitely still cheating.
07/20/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
yes
07/21/2011
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Of course. If you don't have an agreement that allows both of you to have other partners, it makes no difference if he "knows" or not.

If you steal something and the store doesn't realize it, is it still stealing? It makes ... more
Wonderful response! I couldn't have said it any better.
07/21/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
Yes. Why wouldn't it be? P'Gell did an awesome job of laying it out, I think.
07/21/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
If you wouldn't do it in front of him, why would you do it behind his back?

How would you feel in the situation if the tables were switched?
07/21/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
If you wouldn't do it in front of him, why would you do it behind his back?

How would you feel in the situation if the tables were switched?
LOL Even if you would do it in front of him, you probably shouldn't do it behind his back.
07/21/2011