I'm not yet to the point where I'm completely comfortable expressing myself. I've been put down a lot in past relationships and I haven't fully healed from them. Every day I'm getting stronger and stronger though. Reading other people's comments here is definitely inspiring to me!!
#ExpressLove - Explore Together!
04/11/2012
There used to be a large mental and comfort barrier for me. However, I've finally discovered that having found the right person, it's worlds easier to discuss these topics and express myself and my love. It seems very fluid now, and without fear of judgement. I don't know if I would call this "growth" or simply being comfortable on a deeper level with a person. I won't complain either way, because it feels wonderful to talk about what we like so easily!
04/11/2012
I am in a newer relationship where I find it harder to tell him what I would like him to do but I keep trying.
04/11/2012
Quote:
I think with my husband I've become more open about my deepest desires, I've learned and acknowledged what I like and do not like, I used to just ignore my wants, needs and desires, but now through self-expression, I've begun to encourage my husband to open up to the possibility of breaking away from the monotany and really enjoying one another. I think it is important that you are open with your partner, especially when it comes to Expressions of Love and Exploring together, that is how you will reach the truest level of understanding and enjoyment.
Originally posted by
Ansley
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it
...
more
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another. Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental. This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves! Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week. To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!
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04/11/2012
It is so much easier now that I'm older to express what I want. I was too shy and afraid to express myself when I was younger. Plus with someone older and more mature always makes it easier.
04/11/2012
Chant3llo
Now that I'm married it's much easier to express my wants...because what do I have to lose? My husband gives me lots of compliments and really boosts my self esteem, plus I love myself (is that wrong?) and have for quite some time anyways. With or without him I feel confident and happy. As much as I love my husband, I know that you have to love yourself first before anyone else can really love you. Who really wants to be with someone that doesn't love them-self and isn't even comfortable expressing what they want or saying to "no" to what they don't want?
04/11/2012
I find the older and the more mature I get the easier it is for me express my wants. I feel a lot of it has to do with my current partner. I'm comfortable talking to him about anything and he makes me feel good about myself.
04/11/2012
Quote:
I think that its a lot easier to talk to my husband now, than it was before. Mainly because of EdenFantasys. Since I have been on this site, I have found things that we have talked about, but never really tried. When I go through the site and see something that might be of interest, I'll ask the hubby to come in and check it out. Of course, that leads to us talking about more and more things and we browse the site together sometimes. I have purchased some items that were "borderline" for us, things that went outside of our comfort zones a bit, just to "try it out". Which has worked pretty well. We've always been pretty open with each other, but now that we have found EF, its a lot easier for us to find things that we both can enjoy and explore each other with. I love how open we have become since finding EdenFantasys!
Originally posted by
Ansley
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it
...
more
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another. Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental. This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves! Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week. To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!
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04/11/2012
Quote:
for me its all about the time I've been with my partner. We met in high school when I was 16 and he is the only man I have ever been with (was with all women before him). over the years we have formed a relationship that is so tight and close and open, its sometimes nuts! I mean we have no secrets and are brutally honest. when you are like that, it is easy to share anything with the other person.
Originally posted by
Ansley
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it
...
more
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another. Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental. This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves! Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week. To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!
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04/11/2012
Quote:
I think it's a little easier for me now. We've been together for a good while now and I find I'm more comfortable expressing my needs and wants. We've discussed what we like and don't like, and things we'd like to try. We're just taking it slow, learning about each other and trying new things.
Originally posted by
Ansley
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it
...
more
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another. Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental. This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves! Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week. To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!
less
04/11/2012
The more experiences that I've been through (both good and bad), the easier I find it to express myself. I'm also far more confident in doing so.
04/11/2012
I'm into rougher sex at times, and I've definitely learned how to better express how I like it and how I want things done then when I first exploring it. Communication is definitely very helpful in making exploring kinkier things less awkward or uncomfortable for someone who's never tried it or isn't sure. (As my current boyfriend was at first)
04/11/2012
It's much easier for me now, but it was never that tough to begin with. At this point, I'm entirely confident sexually. I know what I like, what I want, and (for the most part) what I don't want! I'm very honest and direct, so I often just lay all the cards on the table as soon as I can with someone and if I scare them away, so be it! It's all about being confident and knowing that even if some others in the world don't feel the same way, there are still others out there who are just like you!
04/11/2012
It took me a long time to get comfortable with the idea of having sex, due to a lot of guilt issues. By the age of 23, I had never gone beyond second base. Even second base had only occurred once, with a guy whose hands I was just tired of fighting off, despite my protests and my insisting that I would tell him when I was actually ready. It was a really gross and depressing experience.
A few months before I turned 24, I met my current boyfriend. He was newly 30 when we began dating, and not a virgin by any stretch of the imagination. I had my guard way up, but I was open with him about it all, about my virginity, my unsettling experience of "breast-feeding an adult man," the fact that I'd only started masturbating about year before that, and wasn't good at it, and thought I may be assexual. He assured me he'd respect my boundaries, try his best to earn my trust, and would wait for me to tell him if I was ready to try new things. That respect and patience really helped me to open up and express what I really wanted sexually, and I started feeling less weird about sex, because it was actually on my own terms. I quickly realized I am not assexual at all, and am pretty freaking sexual.
Although we eventually broke up, (and I dated somebody else afterward...), I'm back together with him, because he has always been very open with me, and I can be very open with him. Our relationship and love is based on trust and honesty.
A few months before I turned 24, I met my current boyfriend. He was newly 30 when we began dating, and not a virgin by any stretch of the imagination. I had my guard way up, but I was open with him about it all, about my virginity, my unsettling experience of "breast-feeding an adult man," the fact that I'd only started masturbating about year before that, and wasn't good at it, and thought I may be assexual. He assured me he'd respect my boundaries, try his best to earn my trust, and would wait for me to tell him if I was ready to try new things. That respect and patience really helped me to open up and express what I really wanted sexually, and I started feeling less weird about sex, because it was actually on my own terms. I quickly realized I am not assexual at all, and am pretty freaking sexual.
Although we eventually broke up, (and I dated somebody else afterward...), I'm back together with him, because he has always been very open with me, and I can be very open with him. Our relationship and love is based on trust and honesty.
04/11/2012
It is definitely easier for me to express what I want now than it was 10 years ago. This is mainly because we have been together for so long. We have seen each other at our best and our worst. We have grown closer and learned how to be a better couple as we have gotten older. We know each other so well that I sometimes don't even need to express what I want, he just knows. Him knowing makes it even better for me. : )
04/11/2012
What has made things easier for me to express myself is that my husband is no longer here. He is a US soldier and can't read my facial expressions anymore. I need to be open and express my thoughts and feelings to him or it will only hurt us more.
04/11/2012
It's hard to know what you want and how to express it when you're young and inexperienced. I think that's why my early attempts at romantic/sexual relationships weren't particularly successful: I was afraid to set my boundaries and announce my wishes.
Now I respect and adore myself enough to know that it's okay to tell people when they're doing something I don't like, or when they do something I want more of. I know that there's no point in being shy about something as important as an intimate relationship.
Now I respect and adore myself enough to know that it's okay to tell people when they're doing something I don't like, or when they do something I want more of. I know that there's no point in being shy about something as important as an intimate relationship.
04/11/2012
I have been married twice, both were failed communication on both parts as well as "not a good fit". They did give me my beautiful children, but I have never felt so connected to my other half as I do with my now and hopefully LAST Fiance. From the day we began talking we clicked like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together and is never WHOLE without each other. We talk about everything, anything, and we have the patience with each other that all couples should have. We are open about our wants and needs. I think before I was 40 I just didn't know how to talk or be true to myself, and now I can / am. We show each other "love" in many ways everyday, most of all we tell each other that we Love each other several times a day. We constantly touch, hug, brush arms against each other and other ways. I think "touch" is pertinent to keeping a relationship alive.. Sex isn't everything and we are proof of that.
04/11/2012
At this point it is easier for me to express myself then it was when hubby and I first got together but it is still hard.
I have trouble vocalizing things. I have shied away from trying to physically do anything, because I always get told no and brushed off when I try. My sex life is always the same and routine. everything is the same thing, the same way or the same place. I have tried to add new and exciting things to it but when I do the first thing out of my hubby's mouth is "where did you learn that, from your boyfriend?" He knows I don't have anyone but him. I have written my fantasies down on paper but I have hard time giving the paper to my hubby. I did once but he shot everything it said down and gave me a hundred reasons why he wouldn't do any of it.
I have trouble vocalizing things. I have shied away from trying to physically do anything, because I always get told no and brushed off when I try. My sex life is always the same and routine. everything is the same thing, the same way or the same place. I have tried to add new and exciting things to it but when I do the first thing out of my hubby's mouth is "where did you learn that, from your boyfriend?" He knows I don't have anyone but him. I have written my fantasies down on paper but I have hard time giving the paper to my hubby. I did once but he shot everything it said down and gave me a hundred reasons why he wouldn't do any of it.
04/11/2012
In the past I have had difficultly expressing myself and my needs, but as I am growing both older and emotionally, feeling I know myself better; I am now more comfortable expressing my needs. I express my love through being good to people and treating them the way I would like to be treated. Life is just to short to hold back on love or anything
04/11/2012
I think it's easier for me to express my wants now, I still struggle with it. But knowing I'm in a loving respectful relationship helps to give me the confidence to speak up for what I want or communicate better.
04/12/2012
I'm really happy to see all of these confident, empowered responses! Sure, casual sex has its merits but there's something incredibly awesome about setting out on a journey to explore sex and express your deepest desires with the person you share your life with.
I know that if I didn't trust my husband and if he didn't trust me, there's no way we could do some of the things we have and boy are those memories great! I know the Eden forums really helped me to shed some of the hangups I had from moments where we both faltered and let our relationship fall through the cracks. Being able to see how open everyone else was allowed me to shake all of that off. It was very liberating.
I know that if I didn't trust my husband and if he didn't trust me, there's no way we could do some of the things we have and boy are those memories great! I know the Eden forums really helped me to shed some of the hangups I had from moments where we both faltered and let our relationship fall through the cracks. Being able to see how open everyone else was allowed me to shake all of that off. It was very liberating.
04/12/2012
Quote:
I find that it's harder to share with my current bf. He's very vanilla and almost anything new just seems to intimidate him. He doesn't get excited about trying new things or even my review items from Eden. In the past, I've had partners that were up for the exploration, and there are times when I wonder why this one isn't at all!
Originally posted by
Ansley
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it
...
more
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another. Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental. This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves! Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week. To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!
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04/12/2012
For those of you that have tried the Cake products. Which scent would you recommend?
04/12/2012
Quote:
I don't think I've ever had a problem expressing my needs, despite I had a very sheltered lifestyle growing up. Everyone says they discovered their true selves at college, & I hate to be cliche, but the experiences there with past relationships really allowed me to discover & explore. However, those 2 boyfriends were on opposite ends of the spectrum - one too sheltered, like I was, one too wild, although I'm grateful for that because it taught me what I liked.
Originally posted by
Ansley
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it
...
more
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another. Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental. This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves! Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week. To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!
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My fiance & are are very compatible when it comes to everyday life communication as well as the intimate things & he's open to trying things, fantasies, etc. Of course, like every woman, I need romance from time to time, & he is a keeper when it comes to that aspect as well.
04/12/2012
My current partner and I are getting very good at communicating and talking about what we want. I think part of the reason is that we have so little time to spend together in person. It means that we have to talk about everything and get comfortable saying things we might rather not. We're getting very comfortable divulging fantasies and desires, but we also always say, "I love you" somewhere in our conversations (sometimes just randomly, as we think it). I'm still really bad at criticizing and taking critique (for example, I'm constantly finding presents to give him to remind him I'm thinking about him, but he still hasn't given me a birthday present and I can't explain how much I dislike that), but we're working on that too since he knows that I'm not good with it.
04/12/2012
I know it's become way easier to communicate with my husband. The amusing thing is that we say less now, but communicate way more. I think it comes from knowing a person as intimately as we do each other that we pick up on non-verbal cues or just get what a person is saying in way fewer words.
04/13/2012
I express myself by writing ...never been the best talker ^_^
04/13/2012
Entering a polyamorous relationship has really allowed me to improve how I express myself. Effective communication is vital to the maintenance of this type of relationship. So, I express love by saying it, but also recently have taken to writing little messages on the bathroom mirror when my primary partner isn't there so that he'll have a surprise the next time he walks in the bathroom. Other than that, we talk when anything needs to be discussed, good or bad. It's been great for my communication skills.
04/13/2012
I feel that as i have gotten older it is much easier to express myself and let my man know what i like, want, and need. We are both into trying new things in order to keep our love alive, exciting and fun. I think as we get older we learn more about our bodies and become more confident within ourselves. As you try new things, you find out what brings you the most pleasure and playing around with different ideas helps you to add things and remove some in order to compromise and guide each other to the maximum pleasure we all desire.
04/13/2012