The New Intimacy

Naked Reader Book Club Discussion: Crazy Little Thing - Why Love and Sex Drive Us Mad, by Liz Langley (December 27, 8-10 PM EST)

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Contributor: RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
Not only is there pining away, but the darker reaches of denial of loss and death.
you mean the necro-stuff??
12/27/2011
Contributor: Liz Langley Liz Langley
Quote:
Originally posted by RTx
like on a first date when the conversation lags....
Exactly...and you're scrambling to think of something to say and the fact that you're scrambling makes anything you might have thought of recede into the back of your mind and never come back.
12/27/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
hey everyone, sorry im so late! at work, lost track of time. liz langley herself is here!

what an honor! thanks for coming. love the book so far.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Sacchi Sacchi
Speaking of fandom and conventions, Liz writes about a vampire fan convention held in an an old mining town in Pennsylvania, managing to be eerie, entertaining, and informative all at the same time.
12/27/2011
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
hey everyone, sorry im so late! at work, lost track of time. liz langley herself is here!

what an honor! thanks for coming. love the book so far.
Hi Aliceinthehole!
12/27/2011
Contributor: RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
OMG I will! I still watch the *cough* VHS religiously.
Wow, you are an old softee!!!sweet
12/27/2011
Contributor: RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
Speaking of fandom and conventions, Liz writes about a vampire fan convention held in an an old mining town in Pennsylvania, managing to be eerie, entertaining, and informative all at the same time.
Man, why didn't I ever connect ;the "sylvanias"...Penn and Tran....hmmm
12/27/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz Langley
When I read Helen Fisher's "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love," in 2004. I interviewed her for this book which was exciting...she was exactly as warm and forthcoming as her writing is and she has a great gift for ... more
about how long did it take you to write the book? i know a TON of research went into it. were you ever overwhelmed by the amount of information out there that you wanted to write about?
12/27/2011
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
hey everyone, sorry im so late! at work, lost track of time. liz langley herself is here!

what an honor! thanks for coming. love the book so far.
Hey Alice, no worries! Glad you could make it!
12/27/2011
Contributor: Sacchi Sacchi
I actually copy excerpts and ideas I want to cut and paste here, but there's some mysterious force at work, and the part I wanted to cite about BDSM has totally disappeared. The gist of it is that some kinds of BDSM, with clear communication as to what the participants want from each other, are good models for organizing the chaotic impulses and drives spurred by the neurological factors into forms that make people able to analyze what they want and then get it.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
I actually copy excerpts and ideas I want to cut and paste here, but there's some mysterious force at work, and the part I wanted to cite about BDSM has totally disappeared. The gist of it is that some kinds of BDSM, with clear communication as ... more
oh wow i love that
12/27/2011
Contributor: Liz Langley Liz Langley
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
Does the book go into bonding and Oxytocin? I love neuroscience when it's not for a grade.
Yes, oxytocin is definitely a player! I did an interview with Dr. Joseph Shrand who teaches psychiatry at Harvard and runs an drug and alcohol rehab for teens called CASTLE in Brockton, Mass....he did an amazing job giving me the basic layout of the brain in chapter one, in which I talk about oxytocin, but he also talked about it in a later chapter (8) and the evolutionary importance of it as a bonding chemical.
12/27/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz Langley
Yes, oxytocin is definitely a player! I did an interview with Dr. Joseph Shrand who teaches psychiatry at Harvard and runs an drug and alcohol rehab for teens called CASTLE in Brockton, Mass....he did an amazing job giving me the basic layout of the ... more
yes, that was so helpful! the different 'floors' of the brain.

i had no idea the brain stem evolved first, then the limbic, etc. i guess i'd never really thought about it.


you make science fun!
12/27/2011
Contributor: bluekaren bluekaren
OMG! Sorry I am late
12/27/2011
Contributor: RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz Langley
Yes, oxytocin is definitely a player! I did an interview with Dr. Joseph Shrand who teaches psychiatry at Harvard and runs an drug and alcohol rehab for teens called CASTLE in Brockton, Mass....he did an amazing job giving me the basic layout of the ... more
I just wonder after reading this if the next time when I make love...will I be thinking about these terms when I'm cuddling??
12/27/2011
Contributor: Sacchi Sacchi
How many of us can personally relate to the overwhelming, obsessive, brain-chemical driven love that Liz describes? I can attest that it's not only the young who get carried away like that; I was at my wildest, I think, in my fifties, when it was probably no longer a case of the biological imperative to pass along my DNA (which, for better or worse, I'd already accomplished.)
12/27/2011
Contributor: Liz Langley Liz Langley
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Usually my favorite sort.
Oh, mine too....there's quite a lot of that in there! I'm a TV junkie (well, I was when I had cable) and I can watch shows like "Snapped" (where I actually found one of my subjects) and "Who the Bleep Did I Marry?" all day! There are stories in "Crazy Little Thing," about people who couldn't even let go of a loved one after death, about hybristophilia - people who fall in love with violent criminals, and other kinds of mayhem. There's a terrific author, Katherine Ramsland, Ph.D, a forensic psychologist who I interviewed for much of that content. She's fabulous!
12/27/2011
Contributor: Sacchi Sacchi
Welcome, Bluekaren, glad you could make it.
12/27/2011
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Diabolical Kitty
oh wow i love that
Hey Diabolical Kitty! You are our first gift card winner of the night! $25 to spend on EdenFantasys.com is yours chica! Congrats!



(btw, even tho Liz NuMe isn't here tonight, go ahead and email her as usual at liz@edenfantasys.com for your gift card code — she's got all the magic numbers, so she'll get you your code ASAP!)
12/27/2011
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
Congrats Diabolical Kitty!
12/27/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Hey Diabolical Kitty! You are our first gift card winner of the night! $25 to spend on EdenFantasys.com is yours chica! Congrats!



(btw, even tho Liz NuMe isn't here tonight, go ahead and email her as usual at liz@edenfantasys.com ... more
Oh wow thanks!!!
12/27/2011
Contributor: bluekaren bluekaren
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
How many of us can personally relate to the overwhelming, obsessive, brain-chemical driven love that Liz describes? I can attest that it's not only the young who get carried away like that; I was at my wildest, I think, in my fifties, when it was ... more
I am so excited to read this book...
12/27/2011
Contributor: Liz Langley Liz Langley
Quote:
Originally posted by RTx
The last book I read before getting into this one half-way, so far, was The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson...and I definitely see overlap in the research...
OMG, I haven't read that yet but saw Jon Ronson on the Daily Show and just listened to a "This American Life" episode where he tells the story of visiting a CEO who he is going to talk to about the potential psychopathic traits of business leaders, i.e. being fearless in a way other people are not. It sounds brilliant and the story was kind of scary but hysterically funny, too.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Liz Langley Liz Langley
Quote:
Originally posted by Snozzberries
Holy moly, I made it to this! AND LIZ IS STILL HERE TOO! Well, my night just got better.
I'm just starting out with all this so I'll sit back and watch but YES! I MADE IT!
I'm glad you made it!!!
12/27/2011
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
F.Y.I. - if you have not turned in your January book review choice, make sure you do so tonight (I'm making assignments right NOW!)

If you want to know more about Janurary's books go to the NRBC blog!

Ok, now back to the regular discussion!



12/27/2011
Contributor: Snozzberries Snozzberries
Man, Liz AND gift cards?! What?!
I should visit these things more often.

Now I really need to get the book y'all are talking about here.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
F.Y.I. - if you have not turned in your January book review choice, make sure you do so tonight (I'm making assignments right NOW!)

If you want to know more about Janurary's books go to the NRBC blog!

Ok, now back to the ... more
I sent mine in already or at least i hope I did!
12/27/2011
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by bluekaren
I am so excited to read this book...
Speaking of that, if you have not read it already, I just emailed you about tonight's book. Check your email!
12/27/2011
Contributor: Snozzberries Snozzberries
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz Langley
I'm glad you made it!!!
EEEEEE! *starstruck*

Ahem.
12/27/2011
Contributor: RTx RTx
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
How many of us can personally relate to the overwhelming, obsessive, brain-chemical driven love that Liz describes? I can attest that it's not only the young who get carried away like that; I was at my wildest, I think, in my fifties, when it was ... more
I'm returning to it now at fifty...feels great like being twenty but not making the same radical mistakes...hell, I wrote 17 songs all about this topic called Haunted Halo...(see my profile)
12/27/2011