#EdenLit - Club Meeting- January 9, 2012 at 7pm

Contributor: kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
Hi! I just got here! My connection is acting really odd, though...
01/09/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Oh, or what about describing most of the scene and then rather than saying "suddenly she realized her hands were bound and she began to panic" you went with something more like "as she took in the elegant draperies that were tied open, ... more
That works very well. I have used something very much like that. Try to put yourself in that person's position and figure out what you would do. 90% of the time it is the same thing your readers would.
Although I have started with the short and sweet "She woke up and tried to rub her eyes, when..." if I was writing a quick nothing but action story.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
Yeah, I still tend to have a few long complex sentences. And to your earlier comment about the language usage...I do use words that are not as common. Part of I is my own love of learning new words and another part is I got in the habit of writing to ... more
My challenge to you would be to take to to basics. Write using language that is simple (not dull) and basic sentence structures. Practice it so that it becomes it's own style...and then mix it up. Sort of like when you learn to paint. Start with basic pencil lines and then GO NUTZ!
01/09/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
That works very well. I have used something very much like that. Try to put yourself in that person's position and figure out what you would do. 90% of the time it is the same thing your readers would.
Although I have started with the short ... more
That's another good starting point as well. I admit I am more likely to get caught up in describing the details and make any realizations my characters may have be all the more unbelievable for it.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Oh, or what about describing most of the scene and then rather than saying "suddenly she realized her hands were bound and she began to panic" you went with something more like "as she took in the elegant draperies that were tied open, ... more
THAT is what I'm talking about! Now minimalistic has it's place...especially in a stark story like Kathryn's Unicorn story. The thing is to be really interesting sometimes we have to whisper when we feel we should scream and scream when we should be quiet...if that makes sense.
01/09/2012
Contributor: kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Oh, or what about describing most of the scene and then rather than saying "suddenly she realized her hands were bound and she began to panic" you went with something more like "as she took in the elegant draperies that were tied open, ... more
Yes, describing what the character herself is experiencing is much better than "she woke up. she found her hands bound in rope. she screamed."

My main bad habit is getting so excited with something that I either rush it and accidentally skip something, or, if I don't have much to say, extend it with unnecessary fluff.

If my work has dialogue, I'll just write the first relevant thing that comes to mind and revise it into something better later on. I've been told that I'm a good writer, but writer's block loves to serial rape my brain.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
I agree!!!! I belong to a few erotic story sites. And nothing, and I mean nothing seems to irk me more than just the wham-bam thank-you-ma'am stories. Juicy bits are grand and fun... BUT... tease me please!!!

When I write longerish ... more
That's a great trick as well...and gives me an idea for a writing topic as well! We could write in two parts: First the story and then the erotica inserted for the next month critique.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by kadytheredpanda
Hi! I just got here! My connection is acting really odd, though...
Hey Welcome!
01/09/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
My challenge to you would be to take to to basics. Write using language that is simple (not dull) and basic sentence structures. Practice it so that it becomes it's own style...and then mix it up. Sort of like when you learn to paint. Start with ... more
That would be a challenge! I have gone through and stripped down my setup and dialogue trying to write short stories under 1000 words but haven't gone to simpler language ...I tend to get really repetitive.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by kadytheredpanda
Yes, describing what the character herself is experiencing is much better than "she woke up. she found her hands bound in rope. she screamed."

My main bad habit is getting so excited with something that I either rush it and ... more
Using some of the exercizes here can help with that immensely! Sometimes if you are describing something in a choppy sort of suspense thriller way the example you used can work. Now if you do feel that your work is too flowery or "fluffy" try chopping up into short sentences and see if that helps the flow of the story.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I'm just curious based on the comments here - do most of you write erotica for publication - whether its on the web or somewhere else?

I don't really read erotica other than for this club and the one piece I've written so far for Eden Cafe that I need to write the second half for.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
THAT is what I'm talking about! Now minimalistic has it's place...especially in a stark story like Kathryn's Unicorn story. The thing is to be really interesting sometimes we have to whisper when we feel we should scream and scream when ... more
Yeah, when a character reacts outside the norm. You just have to be careful not to have it be too odd. Either that or set it up with some character development so the reader isn't totally thrown off.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
That would be a challenge! I have gone through and stripped down my setup and dialogue trying to write short stories under 1000 words but haven't gone to simpler language ...I tend to get really repetitive.
Under a thousand words??? I find it hard to make a blog post under a thousand words!!!
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
So with these ideas in mind:
*Keep it simple, silly.
*Begin wherever the action is happening.
*Use fewer commas and more helping verbs.

Let's look at my critical piece and Cedarlooman's:

Airen's

Cedarlooman's
01/09/2012
Contributor: kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
That would be a challenge! I have gone through and stripped down my setup and dialogue trying to write short stories under 1000 words but haven't gone to simpler language ...I tend to get really repetitive.
I write a LOT of stories at 1,000 words or less. My sister can write 60,000 words for NaNoWriMo, but I only have one work longer than 30,000 words under my belt. Worse, that one 60,000 work was 101 chapters of killing Scrappy Doo and JUST killing Scrappy Doo. XD
01/09/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I'm just curious based on the comments here - do most of you write erotica for publication - whether its on the web or somewhere else?

I don't really read erotica other than for this club and the one piece I've written so far for ... more
I have published most of my stuff to literotica.com prior to joining the group here. I have not submitted all of the stuff from here over there yet, but might.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I'm just curious based on the comments here - do most of you write erotica for publication - whether its on the web or somewhere else?

I don't really read erotica other than for this club and the one piece I've written so far for ... more
I write mostly to order though I have been published. Generally the person I am writing for chooses the language and the action. I write essays and current events as well as more personal exposes and down right pornographic erotica. I have dabbled in sci-fi and supernatural fiction as well.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
Under a thousand words??? I find it hard to make a blog post under a thousand words!!!
I do too. That is why it was such a challenge.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
(Completely off topic, but I wanted to share with you guys that I'm working on a cafe piece about being a hypocrite, and I figured who better to share with than the awesome writers of Eden Lit!)

(also, I'd love very much if once it's published, anybody else admits that I'm not the only one, lol)
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by kadytheredpanda
I write a LOT of stories at 1,000 words or less. My sister can write 60,000 words for NaNoWriMo, but I only have one work longer than 30,000 words under my belt. Worse, that one 60,000 work was 101 chapters of killing Scrappy Doo and JUST killing ... more
ACK was it at least creative ways of killing the annoying little runt?
01/09/2012
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Thanks. Sorry to interrupt for that question just so many of you seem to be experienced at erotica and the styles of writing for it, etc.
01/09/2012
Contributor: kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
So with these ideas in mind:
*Keep it simple, silly.
*Begin wherever the action is happening.
*Use fewer commas and more helping verbs.

Let's look at my critical piece and ... more
Mmhmm, those are good tips...
01/09/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
So with these ideas in mind:
*Keep it simple, silly.
*Begin wherever the action is happening.
*Use fewer commas and more helping verbs.

Let's look at my critical piece and ... more
I did like your story. The one thing that threw me at the beginning and I kept circling back to was her in a tunic and pants and he somehow got a peek at her nether curls.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
(Completely off topic, but I wanted to share with you guys that I'm working on a cafe piece about being a hypocrite, and I figured who better to share with than the awesome writers of Eden Lit!)

(also, I'd love very much if once ... more
LOL I am the WORST for looking like a hypocrite because my paradigms are pretty fluid and if you present a good case I MIGHT be changing my perceptions....though probably not my mind. That and I know I am a dyed in the wool hypocrite to boot.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Thanks. Sorry to interrupt for that question just so many of you seem to be experienced at erotica and the styles of writing for it, etc.
I promise TexasMama I will touch on writing more personal works that are non-fiction as well. Just both of the pieces submitted for Critical review were erotica this month!
01/09/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
LOL I am the WORST for looking like a hypocrite because my paradigms are pretty fluid and if you present a good case I MIGHT be changing my perceptions....though probably not my mind. That and I know I am a dyed in the wool hypocrite to boot.
I think you'll like my piece then.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
I did like your story. The one thing that threw me at the beginning and I kept circling back to was her in a tunic and pants and he somehow got a peek at her nether curls.
That was part of my clean up of the totally amateurish tone I had taken (becaue it was written when I WAS a rank amateur) and I forgot to add that it was a pair of split crotch, see thru harem pants. Talk about not keeping it simple, eh?
01/09/2012
Contributor: kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
ACK was it at least creative ways of killing the annoying little runt?
A few sample chapter titles:

Poisoning his lemonade, Muppet flogging, Valentine's Day Massacre reenact ion, Wicker Man, Luck o' the Irish, fortune cookie fortune of DOOM, fight with toy lightsabers, zombies, turkey beak pecking, and the Vogons from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy destroying Earth to make way for a new intergalatic highway.

I was between 13-15 when I wrote this. @_@
01/09/2012
Contributor: kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Thanks. Sorry to interrupt for that question just so many of you seem to be experienced at erotica and the styles of writing for it, etc.
I've never written much erotica, to be honest. When I do write a sex scene, I keep it very muddled. I've never had partner sex, so it feels really weird for me to write explicit erotica/romance.
01/09/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
I loved the story that Cedar wove for us but the beginning was so very fast paced as he rushed to catch us all up on what his heroine was doing, who she was and why she was at the Inn. I would have liked to see that all sprinkled through the whole piece but strangely it did grow on me and eventually it all made sense why it was all scrunched up there at the beginning.
01/09/2012