TOTALLY possible. I am not into it for the demeaning aspects that are often portrayed in porn. That would be a huge turn off for me. It FEELS good, it's intimate, takes a huge amount of trust, patience and communication...for that alone it is incredibly romantic to me.

Thanks to both of you!

Scott: Thanks for your recommendations- We've engaged in toy play for prostate stimulation, but placing the emphasis more on hips and less on hands makes us wonder how we can best keep it up. We've looked into Tantus's Bend Over Beginner (Or Intermediate) Kits, as the simple size should allow us the best control. Does that make sense?

Lauren: We don't care much for the demeaning aspects of porn, either, and usually find that it never reflects reality. I agree that trust and communication in a relationship is romantic, and that is one of the primary parts of our sexual relationship.

My wife and I love strap on sex for its romantic aspects-don't like the dom stuff. Most of the most DVD'S seem to be centered around the dom aspect. You might try Tristan Taormino's DVD'S. We have watched some of the later Strap It On Series. Some of them are OK.y wife and I love strap on sex-she likes it as much as I do. She gets so hot. She does me about once a week.

I think that Matheri89 isn't concerned about pegging being inherently demeaning to the male, but just expressing frustration that it is so often portrayed that way.

You've said that you've engaged in toy play prior, so I'm going to assume that you're fairly experienced back there already. In that case, skip the Bend Over Beginner kit and go straight to the Intermediate set. I have the Beginner kit and the small one is definitely too small, though the primary reason we got that was for possible future explorations of dp.

I would definitely skip the videos and simply get books if you're looking for instructional resources. That said, experimenting to find the most romantic and effective position is part of the fun!

I would advise the woman to try out her dildo/harness on her own a bit first, so she's comfortable with how it works on her before she brings a partner into the equation.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. Before my boyfriend and I used our harness for the first time, I whipped it out while he wasn't home and just played around with it. Figured out how the dildo went in it, I got it positioned right, I rocked back and forth on my heels to get comfortable with the weight of it, put some lube on the dildo and rubbed it, looked at myself in the mirror, etc etc. After that, it was a lot easier to really spoil my boy with it, instead of just going off of the rough stuff I had seen in porn.

Curious to know how this turned out? We're in the same boat. Thanks.

It's fairly simple really... you do it your way. Just because the majority of porn shows women reaming manpussies and making them beg for it doesn't mean you have to.

You can just as easily have loving anal sex. It's up to you if you want her slapping you and calling you names while she fucks you, or if you want her to be kind, passionate and attentive.

If you are really worried about it being too demeaning, consider doing it on your back. This way, she can stroke you as she thrusts and you can also see the expressions on each others faces.

There doesn't always have to be a verbal exchange to let your partner know how something feels, or that you want more of this and less of that.

It can definitely be a very sensual exchange, but at the same time it can be degrading.. it all depends on how you approach it.

Example:
Someone is passionately performing cunnilingus on their partner, and all you hear is moans of ecstasy and oh baby oh baby.
Very "tender and loving"

Someone is eating pussy when they are thrown on their back and held down while it is smeared in their face, and called all sorts of names while the dominant partner insults them for being inadequate.
Can be very demeaning, or exciting depending on your tastes.

Do it the way it works for you. No one outside your sex life should ever have any influence or control on what you do with your partner. If you wanna dry hump on the kitchen floor while eating PB&J sandwiches and singing campfire songs... Do it. Do what you have to for you and your partner to enjoy something.

You are always in control of your experience. You can always stop what is happening if it isn't for you. If it doesn't stop when you ask for it to, you are being raped. NEVER forget that.

here is some non-degrading pegging stuff. the first video in particular is great

link

she is very respectful, and careful with me.

My favorite posision when getting pegged is being on top and leaning forward into her while she thrusts into me. I have gotten off from this position a couple of times without much penis stimulation.