The New Intimacy

Psyching myself out too much to peg.

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Contributor: Oopsiedaisey Oopsiedaisey
I'm exhausted, so bear with me if this comes off as rambling... but I could use some advice.
So my male partner and I have discussed pegging for about two years now. I want to be able to do this for him, and I even bought a harness, but I just can't get into the headspace for it.
It's not any sense of stigma or squeamishness, but I just tend to shy away from such a dominant act. You see, we're both submissives by nature who happened to fall in love and now have to try switching.
I'll flog him, tease him, and make him do some foot worship, but for some reason THIS is what has me completely freaked out. "It's just too dominant" my brain keeps saying.
I've read lots of advice on the physical side of pegging, but I could use some guidance into the psychological side of preparation.
Anyone been in this position?
10/26/2015
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Forum highlights on Pegging:

How Often Do You Practice Pegging?
So another simple poll. For those of you into pegging, how often do you actually do it?

The Nastiest thing you NEVER say in porn...but want to. Pegging edition.
Our Friday free speaking dinner group met last night, and after an hour of talking politics, we finally got off that blood pressure raising topic and.

Best dildo/kit for a beginner?
My boyfriend and I want to start pegging and I want to find a smaller dildo to start with and a good (but cheap) harness. Any suggestions?

Has anyone ever been caught getting pegged, if so by who and what did you do?
Last week while my wife and I were going at it, our neighbor spotted us pegging. She just stood there while we finished. After we were done she came..

Does anyone else fantasize about pegging?
(pegging's where you wear a strap on and use it on your guy.)
10/26/2015
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
The SEXIs Magazine has some articles on pegging. I'm sure you could find something about the psychological side of preparation.

Here's a direct link to it if you're not able to find it.

SEXIS Social Magazine

Have fun on your research play journey.
10/26/2015
Contributor: Oopsiedaisey Oopsiedaisey
Quote:
Originally posted by edeneve
The SEXIs Magazine has some articles on pegging. I'm sure you could find something about the psychological side of preparation.

Here's a direct link to it if you're not able to find it.

SEXIS Social Magazine

Have fun ... more
Thanks! Still not finding much on the mental side of things, but I'll keep looking!
10/27/2015
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
Quote:
Originally posted by Oopsiedaisey
Thanks! Still not finding much on the mental side of things, but I'll keep looking!
Have you Googled your questions?
10/31/2015
Contributor: Lioncub Lioncub
Have you tried talking to others that have felt the same way? I'm sure there's a forum out there somewhere for others that feel the same way you do.
11/01/2015
Contributor: Andykh Andykh
This might just be my typical guys opinion but I say try not to think as much about it. U and him maybe have a few drinks and be like Nike and just do it.
11/01/2015
Contributor: cabinover cabinover
Why does it have to be a dominant/submissive thing? How about you just have fun with it. It works for us that way.
11/05/2015
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
My wife is very much like you. It was a big hurdle for her to cross - but with patience and a little Sangria (or your favorite adult beverage) she's come to grips with doing it for me.

I do so much for her - she really can't say no. But I will not be satisfied until 2 things happen. 1st I want her to have an orgasm pegging me - and she's getting close. We have an insertable vibrator that helps and we're working out the mental side of that equation.

The second longer term goal is that she actually wants to do it - and will take the initiative. I'm not sure this will ever happen - but it's still my goal.

You have to get out of your own way - and do this for him. I guarantee you - he will look for a 1000 ways yo thank you. In the end you will be the beneficiary of your own graciousness.
11/06/2015
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Relax. You are over thinking it.
11/07/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Relax. You are over thinking it.
Agreed Toy Guy! If you can't bring yourself to Peg him, how about you lay down and request that he to get on top. It would be a variation of Woman on Top. I don't know if you would like the eye contact but if you do like it then this could be a good way to get it. You could see all the pleasure you are giving him.
11/07/2015
Contributor: FleurDevereux FleurDevereux
I like to wear the harness and have my husband on top of me, either facing me or away. It tends to work when neither of us are really in a "dominant" mood. Don't know if this helps, but I thought it's worth mentioning.
11/11/2015
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by FleurDevereux
I like to wear the harness and have my husband on top of me, either facing me or away. It tends to work when neither of us are really in a "dominant" mood. Don't know if this helps, but I thought it's worth mentioning.
FleurD,

I think it helps. The more people she learns are engaged in pegging the more apt they may be to try it. I know from reading up on it on the net. Also seeing how many couples here (EF community) and elsewhere partakes in the practice helped us try it.

We found out it is more common than realized all over the world in privacy of ones' bedrooms. I agree for loving couples it has not much to do with domination.
11/11/2015