The New Intimacy

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Contributor: queertastic queertastic
My boyfriend and I are interested pegging. I picked up a few dildos - the small silk and Vixen's Smooth Operator Kit (with vibrator) dildo.

My problem is selecting a sturdy harness. I'm a curvier woman, with hips around 47 inches...and want to make sure that I get a harness that's comfortable. Price isn't an issue, along with material (whether it be leather, cloth, or something else...). Although my boyfriend and I have never pegged before, we're both really interested in the idea.

Any ideas about a good, sturdy harness for a curvier lady?

Thanks!
03/19/2009
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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03/19/2009
Contributor: Viv Viv
I'd recommend you go with a double strap harness. i find they seem to be sturdier to begin with than the g-string type and allow for more hip room.

We started out with the bend over beginner harness which comes with a pouch for a bullet, two o-rings, and a removable cloth front section, and two small dildos--plus it has plenty of hip room.

Though i have found that if the cocks you are using have balls to deal with that a g-sting like the bare as you dare harness is a great choice for those types of dildos.
03/19/2009
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
SpareParts Jocque, Aslan Jaguar, or one of the Outlaw Leather models. It's almost impossible to go wrong with any one of these excellent harnesses. Sportsheets makes the Sedux Devine Diva Plus harness specifically for larger women, but I'm not sure how stable it is.

I'd encourage you to put the Smooth Operator on his end of the harness - strap-on play works better with dildos longer than 5", and with the Small Silk it's likely that you'll run into problems with the dildo slipping out in many positions.

Make sure you get some good, thick lube and talk through everything first.
03/19/2009
Contributor: queertastic queertastic
Saurou - I've been looking at the double strap harnesses for quite some time. I was wondering what the difference was between the two as far as sturdiness went -- I imagined that the double strap would be better, but didn't know that cocks with balls worked better with g-string harnesses. Who would've thought! I don't want to intimidate my boyfriend and use a realistic looking dildo....I know that if I were a guy who wanted to try pegging, I wouldn't want my girlfriend fucking me with a realistic looking dildo! For some guys that might be a thing, but for my boyfriend and I, it's not. Thanks so much for the advice. =)

ScottA - I've been drooling over some of the AsIan Jaguar and Outlaw Leather models for quite some time. Thanks for recommending them. I didn't realize that strap-on play worked better with dildos that were greater than 5 inches.

What kind of lube would you recommend using?
03/19/2009
Contributor: DreamyLove DreamyLove
The Spareparts Jocque harness and any of Outlaw's harnesses are my favorites.
03/19/2009
Contributor: Peg Peg
Quote:
Originally posted by queertastic
My boyfriend and I are interested pegging. I picked up a few dildos - the small silk and Vixen's Smooth Operator Kit (with vibrator) dildo.

My problem is selecting a sturdy harness. I'm a curvier woman, with hips around 47 ... more
We have several harnesses and have found the double strap harness to be the most sturdy and comfortable. There are plenty of non-realistic ones to choose from so maybe you could pick a favorite color to help make selection a little easier. Since you are just starting out I'd say you might want to start out with a thinner one first and work you way up from there.
03/19/2009
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I like the double strap, I have the Jaguar..fits great and gives a lot stability to thrust Spare Parts, not leather is also good.. Perhaps a dil like the Raquel is a good starter, no balls and not realistic. Yes, length is important, even more so, if you are a larger girl. Go for it!
03/20/2009
Contributor: Red Red
Try the really basic double strap made of nylon webbing - there's a lot of versions, but I think the cheapest is the latigo leather harness. It's under $30, so even if you don't love it to bits, you should be able to tell if a double strap harness closer to $100 will work for you. And, it'll fit you nooooo problem - I have seen it on curvier women.
03/20/2009
Contributor: Viv Viv
Quote:
Originally posted by queertastic
Saurou - I've been looking at the double strap harnesses for quite some time. I was wondering what the difference was between the two as far as sturdiness went -- I imagined that the double strap would be better, but didn't know that cocks ... more
Bright eyes: I find that double strap harnesses do hold a cock closer to your body giving you better control since the dildo is being held there from four angles and you can tighten the straps more without worrying about how tight it's going to be on your bits. plus it leaves your pussy open for easy play later.

that said, my go-to harness is a g-string one. I find they are easier to put on in the dark, give great friction on my clit during play, and work best with my cocks of choice. In my experience I've had problems with cocks with balls (like our personal favorite the scout) rotating in a double strap harness. I've had less slipping in general with g-string harnesses since the lowest strap fits right over the balls before going between your legs and holding everything in place. so for me i go with double strap for dongs and g-string for realistics.

as far as lube-- never mix silicone lube with silicone toys, so i'd suggest picking up a bottle of maximus. it's a water based lube but very thick so it's easy to work with (doesn't run everywhere) and is supposed to be amazing for anal play since it's so slick and doesn't wear out easy. plus it comes in a pump bottle and you got to love that ^_^

hope that helps!
03/20/2009
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
I suggest the Annie O, personally. It sits low, is comfortable and very very adjustable. As ScootA mentions, toy size is important - so go with 7" to start, it'll be better to have the length if you need it.
03/20/2009
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
With lubes and anal it's important to check to see if you or your partner (whoever is the "getter" at the time) has any reaction to the ingredients. Some lubes give me a burning sensation, which makes it a bit more difficult to relax and enjoy anal play. Personally, I like Maximus (a little burning at first for me, but it settles down after ~10-20 seconds) or an oil-based lube such as Boy Butter. I haven't tried them all by any stretch of the imagination, so get some small bottles and see what works best for you. Thin lubes and K-Y are out, though - get something thick.

If you like G-string harnesses, a double dildo such as the Tango, Nexus or Feeldoe will help to give you more control.

The other thing I like in dildos is a curve. Curved dildos seem to make for easier insertion and definitely are more stimulating. You can even spin it around in the middle of sex (or spin your partner around) to change the stimulation a bit.
03/21/2009
Contributor: queertastic queertastic
Thank you so much for all of your advice! I really appreciate it. =) You've answered so many of my questions -- I'll let you know if I have any more.
03/22/2009
Contributor: Viv Viv
no problem! good luck!
03/22/2009
Contributor: Oliver Gray Oliver Gray
Quote:
Originally posted by queertastic
My boyfriend and I are interested pegging. I picked up a few dildos - the small silk and Vixen's Smooth Operator Kit (with vibrator) dildo.

My problem is selecting a sturdy harness. I'm a curvier woman, with hips around 47 ... more
A double strap one would be better and honestly, you get what you pay for. If it's more expensive, it'll be better quality
03/21/2012
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Oliver Gray
A double strap one would be better and honestly, you get what you pay for. If it's more expensive, it'll be better quality
There are some decent value harnesses out there, but generally look in the over $35 range
03/22/2012
Contributor: LoneOokami LoneOokami
I have the SpareParts harness and its best one Ive ever used, stable and fits well it would be the one I would suggest.
03/17/2013