How to tell if you're at a good angle

Contributor: blixa blixa
Apologies if this is an often-asked question, but how can you tell with a strap-on if you're penetrating your partner at an angle that's comfortable? (Besides the obvious answer of "just ask how it's feeling".) I'm really worried with a strap-on, because it's an external object I have no sensation in, that I'll end up jabbing my partner at a weird angle or entering them at an awkward angle if I'm not able to see what I'm doing. Is this a problem that gets better with time, or is it usually not a problem at all?
03/16/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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03/16/2012
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Yes, it can be difficult at first because you're "flying blind," but there are a few things that can help.

First is to get a somewhat flexible dildo. This way the dildo will bend and "track" the rectum or vagina even when there's an odd thrust. The second thing that you can do (especially with anal) is to ensure that there's plenty of foreplay and handheld toying first. This will give you a feel for how the rectum lays and also help the receptive partner's suspensory structures relax and straighten out.

A third possiblity is to loosen up the harness so there's a little play and hold the dildo with two fingers at the base the way it would be if the harness were on tight. Then you can do some test penetrations and "feel" the dildo as it makes its way inside.
03/17/2012
Contributor: going4the23feel going4the23feel
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Yes, it can be difficult at first because you're "flying blind," but there are a few things that can help.

First is to get a somewhat flexible dildo. This way the dildo will bend and "track" the rectum or vagina even ... more
I'm just getting into pegging and prostate stimulation with my man. I want to do nice things to stimulate him externally as well as internally, but we have only used a strap-on. I try massaging his externals with a lubricated hand, or even my mouth, but he doesn't seem to care for all of it. He doesn't mind me pegging him hard, but I'd like to do better than that. Any suggestions?
03/17/2012
Contributor: Fawkes Fawkes
This is a good question!
05/16/2012
Contributor: Selene Selene
It is sort of different with everyone. A little trial and error with gentle movements and lots of feedback. Also good to help warm them up.
06/01/2012
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by going4the23feel
I'm just getting into pegging and prostate stimulation with my man. I want to do nice things to stimulate him externally as well as internally, but we have only used a strap-on. I try massaging his externals with a lubricated hand, or even my ... more
Sometimes he might not be interested in external stimulation, at least at the beginning of a session. If you're not playing with his penis then he can focus on the sensations of the pegging and (much less romantic, but it's got to be said) concentrate on keeping relaxed and open for you. You might want to try letting him enjoy the anal feelings for a while, then slowly adding non-genital stimulation (upper body, legs). Later on as he gets more into it you can bring in some genital play - or then again he might just want to save that for later. I'm curious about your phrase "he doesn't mind" - does he enjoy pegging as pegging, or is it something he does for you? If he just does it for you then he might not want genital stimulation at all.
06/09/2012
Contributor: Dixiemomma Dixiemomma
good question... the biggest thing is communication... pay attention to his reactions you should be able to tell what feels good and what doesnt
06/09/2012