In general, anything that causes lasting physical or psychological harm to the other person is too far... It's up to both of you to make your limits clear.

Agreed. Every couple needs to establish rules and boundaries prior to play. There are some basic rules I follow as a sadist, such as not leaving any lasting marks (like nasty bruises), no drawing blood, and no playing around with sexual abuse. But everyone is different and likes different things.

Tips? Yes.

Communicate with your partner.

It feels like I type that on every thread! I probably do, because I post in BDSM threads a ton!

Anyway - S/m players are always different. You've got heavy bottoms and light bottoms. The more you play, the more you learn. The more you play with one certain individual, the more you'll learn their limits (the more you can push their limits).

Same thing with Sadists. I've played with (what I call) baby sadists. I almost have to reassure them that it's ok. They do a little hurting and then back off. Their sadism comes in waves. It's almost as if they're trying to make sure that what they're doing is not a bad thing. They just haven't learned how to fully let go and have at it yet. Yet. .

I've also played with sadists that have FAR outlasted me, and I can take a fucking beating.

Some people want to be left bleeding, bruised and are still begging for more. Some people aren't willing to give that much to another person.

Communicate. Find out what 'heavy' means to you. Find out what it means to your partner. Get on the same page before anyone starts swinging.

Good luck and have hella fun!

My husband leaves bruises and such, but I think that for us at least anything that might draw blood is going too far for us.

I agree with everyone else. Each person has their limits. Communication IS key. I think I post that a lot too. My husband and I talk most sessions out after to see what we liked, didn't like, want to repeat, shelve, do differently. I bruise easy so bruising is normal for us, but like a previous poster, I don't think he or I would be okay with blood.

No matter your limits, nothing should be permenant. This can be taken literal as in cutting, piercing, etc...(You have to live with that forever) but it can also mean injury to a limb or joint from being tied wrong/too long/etc...

One last thing...it should ALL also be consensual.

Have fun!