I'm looking for advice on how to get my partner more involved in being dominant in the bedroom. He's incredibly turned on by the idea of tying me up and being in control, but he doesn't do it (I think he's unsure and maybe lacks some confidence). He spanks me, which we both enjoy. I crave being a sub in the bedroom, perhaps because I'm "in control" everywhere else in my life. I would love to be able to give my partner a book or website where he could read about what to do, but something on the more watered down side, if that exists.
Resources for introducing a partner to BDSM
02/08/2016
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I find this article particularly helpful. The article talks about the motivation behind BDSM, so if your boyfriend has reservations there, the article could really help.
On a more general note, have you two had a talk about it? He might be afraid of crossing a line with you. Without proper communication, he won't be able to know where that line is. Also, every big city has a BDSM group, so there is probably a beginners class you could take to both build more confidence and learn how to practice safely. Definitely, the fear of doing something wrong and the fear of hurting your partner can hold a Dominant back!
Best of luck! I hope this helps!
On a more general note, have you two had a talk about it? He might be afraid of crossing a line with you. Without proper communication, he won't be able to know where that line is. Also, every big city has a BDSM group, so there is probably a beginners class you could take to both build more confidence and learn how to practice safely. Definitely, the fear of doing something wrong and the fear of hurting your partner can hold a Dominant back!
Best of luck! I hope this helps!
04/27/2016
50 shades of gray. Just kidding. Use Fetlife.
08/08/2016
If you feel like watching a movie or two, there are several movies on this topic. Nina Hartly, Tristan Taromino, Wicked Pictures and others all have either one or several "films" that approach this topic by using both entertainment and education.
This way you can hear the discussion of the ideas presented and see how they are implemented in actual practice.
This way you can hear the discussion of the ideas presented and see how they are implemented in actual practice.
08/12/2016
Well, I have found Fetlife to be very helpful, believe it or not. I didn't want the whole thing (even if it was offered by some at first) I went there to find like minds in fetishes.
No matter what level of interaction you can find it there and they do not leave you to flounder alone.
There are plenty of how to sections. For example I wanted a mentor to talk stuff over. Some of the guys had it completely wrong. A mentor does not sleep with you. There is an entire section on just that too.
What I do suggest is on your profile denote that you belong together, he can be Dom of some sorts, "looking out for (Your chosen name). Then you reaf up on the possibilities.
Take a look and see if it is for you.
No matter what level of interaction you can find it there and they do not leave you to flounder alone.
There are plenty of how to sections. For example I wanted a mentor to talk stuff over. Some of the guys had it completely wrong. A mentor does not sleep with you. There is an entire section on just that too.
What I do suggest is on your profile denote that you belong together, he can be Dom of some sorts, "looking out for (Your chosen name). Then you reaf up on the possibilities.
Take a look and see if it is for you.
08/13/2016
Quote:
Good suggestion Symbiasin! They also have munches (Breakfast/Lunch/Dinne r) meet ups where you can meet others who share your enthusiasm for a certain kink. There you can openly discuss your wants, needs and desires. You might even find someone people who can mentor both you and your partner to make your play even better.
Originally posted by
symbiasin
Well, I have found Fetlife to be very helpful, believe it or not. I didn't want the whole thing (even if it was offered by some at first) I went there to find like minds in fetishes.
No matter what level of interaction you can find it ... more
No matter what level of interaction you can find it ... more
Well, I have found Fetlife to be very helpful, believe it or not. I didn't want the whole thing (even if it was offered by some at first) I went there to find like minds in fetishes.
No matter what level of interaction you can find it there and they do not leave you to flounder alone.
There are plenty of how to sections. For example I wanted a mentor to talk stuff over. Some of the guys had it completely wrong. A mentor does not sleep with you. There is an entire section on just that too.
What I do suggest is on your profile denote that you belong together, he can be Dom of some sorts, "looking out for (Your chosen name). Then you reaf up on the possibilities.
Take a look and see if it is for you. less
No matter what level of interaction you can find it there and they do not leave you to flounder alone.
There are plenty of how to sections. For example I wanted a mentor to talk stuff over. Some of the guys had it completely wrong. A mentor does not sleep with you. There is an entire section on just that too.
What I do suggest is on your profile denote that you belong together, he can be Dom of some sorts, "looking out for (Your chosen name). Then you reaf up on the possibilities.
Take a look and see if it is for you. less
08/13/2016
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 5