Playing out a fantasy rape scene with my wife

Contributor: USJT130119200518 USJT130119200518
My wife has a rape fantasy and I want to play out the scene. But I am one for accuracy and making things as real as possiable. So long and short of it should I play out the scene when she is not expecting it for the realism of it, or should I let her know and setup some parameters? I would like to know what you all think
05/03/2012
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Contributor: ScarletFox ScarletFox
With anything like this I always err on the side of talking everything through and discussing it.
05/03/2012
Contributor: USJT130119200518 USJT130119200518
Quote:
Originally posted by ScarletFox
With anything like this I always err on the side of talking everything through and discussing it.
yeah that is what I am thinking as well. I just have the feeling that planning it out with her would kill some of the magic of this particular scene.
05/03/2012
Contributor: spunkmonkey spunkmonkey
Yes, I would set some ground rules first. And also keep it behind closed doors.
05/03/2012
Contributor: USJT130119200518 USJT130119200518
Quote:
Originally posted by spunkmonkey
Yes, I would set some ground rules first. And also keep it behind closed doors.
oh I never had any intentions of bring outside the house.
05/03/2012
Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
I am AGAINST these kinds of fantasies especially when someone is willing to full fill the fantasy rape is well to me something you do NOT want to ever happen to you fake or not!!! But if you are wanting to do it I would talk it through and make boundaries as well as keeping in the home setting so if people seen it happening in a public place you aren't arrested for making your wife's fantasy come true
05/03/2012
Contributor: Bex1331 Bex1331
talk to her and set some parameters, but tell her you don't want her to know when so then just do it randomly a few days/weeks later
05/03/2012
Contributor: USJT130119200518 USJT130119200518
Quote:
Originally posted by Bex1331
talk to her and set some parameters, but tell her you don't want her to know when so then just do it randomly a few days/weeks later
yeah Bex I think that is the best idea under the cirmumstances thanks
05/03/2012
Contributor: shorejen9 shorejen9
I would suggest you discuss it and also set up a word or article of clothing or a watch etc..that you will say or wear when you choose to do it so she will know its you and ok without knowing every detail or you having to break character.
06/12/2012
Contributor: Mitzuki Mitzuki
My partner and I set parameters when I mentioned that I wanted to play out a fantasy. It took him a few months to follow through with it afterwards, though. It really kept me guessing because I knew he was interested, but just when I put my guard down and forgot about it was when it happened!
06/12/2012
Contributor: Aurora Borealis Aurora Borealis
Quote:
Originally posted by USJT130119200518
My wife has a rape fantasy and I want to play out the scene. But I am one for accuracy and making things as real as possiable. So long and short of it should I play out the scene when she is not expecting it for the realism of it, or should I let ... more
definitely need boundaries.
06/16/2012
Contributor: Claire-Bear Claire-Bear
Setup parameters without a doubt. Now, you can ask her if she's ok with it happening unexpectedly, but you need to work out all of the details first and allow her a safe-word. Realism or no, it may be a moment she doesn't feel like it or she had an emotional day. Tread carefully.
06/16/2012
Contributor: britanny0620 britanny0620
Quote:
Originally posted by *Camoprincess*
I am AGAINST these kinds of fantasies especially when someone is willing to full fill the fantasy rape is well to me something you do NOT want to ever happen to you fake or not!!! But if you are wanting to do it I would talk it through and make ... more
It's fine that you're against them, you're welcome to have your own opinion, but lots of people have this fantasy. It's not uncommon, even among people who have been raped. I think that as long as everything is consensual and safe, people should be able to do whatever they want.

To the OP - Everyone here has the right idea - TALK IT OUT and keep it behind closed doors.
06/16/2012
Contributor: Sir Sir
Set up parameters. Talk out what you're both interested in, then set up a time frame of when it will happen if you want the "surprise" factor added in. Maybe say "I'll do it between these days" and then don't let her know which day exactly you plan on doing it. That works well.
06/16/2012
Contributor: Phantom2291 Phantom2291
Quote:
Originally posted by USJT130119200518
My wife has a rape fantasy and I want to play out the scene. But I am one for accuracy and making things as real as possiable. So long and short of it should I play out the scene when she is not expecting it for the realism of it, or should I let ... more
If she gives you all the details, then you can wait around and NOT spring it on her until she really isn't expecting it.
08/05/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
You can do a bit of both. To make sure it's consensual, agree to everything beforehand and choose a general time and surprise her within that window perhaps? You really should just ask her what she prefers, but agree to her boundaries first. BDSM is all about the sub's boundaries and safety.
08/06/2012
Contributor: itismedi itismedi
Make sure she is on board with the surprise of it. A rape fantasy with your husband is one thing, thinking it is the REAL thing is quite another. She may even THINK she is okay with it, but it could psychologically effect her. YOU could also be hurt. I would suggest setting up some guidelines. She doesn't have to know when, but it will help to find out where the line is. I also love the idea of you wearing or saying something (at the beginning) so that she will know it is you. It can still be a faux rape scene, but it also lets her know it is not real. Have fun!
08/16/2012
Contributor: shnsmth6 shnsmth6
Quote:
Originally posted by USJT130119200518
My wife has a rape fantasy and I want to play out the scene. But I am one for accuracy and making things as real as possiable. So long and short of it should I play out the scene when she is not expecting it for the realism of it, or should I let ... more
i would let her know
03/15/2013
Contributor: karenm karenm
My ex-boyfriend had a rape fantasy with me that we acted out. We talked about it a lot first and that helped a lot for me. Don't worry so much about the realism for now (you can always act it out other times without talking as much first, since the ground rules will be set).

The best thing you can do is discuss it thoroughly with your wife so she will be happy and won't have any fears about it unaddressed, and then she will be more likely to want to do it with you again in the future.
03/18/2013
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
I suggest that you guys talk about it extensively beforehand, and if you're committed to the "surprise" aspect of it, make sure she has a safe word. Around the time you think you might want to do it, just ask a few questions about her day or anything that might be bothering her, so you can gauge her mood. Also, maybe keep your "realism" (and I say that in the context of FANTASY) around 60-70% the first time around, so that neither of you becomes frightened or hurt.

Of course, it's necessary to worry about her feelings and reactions, but be mindful of your own feelings. You want it to be fun for both of you, and it's no fun if you scare yourself in the role of the aggressor.

Talk to each other, set up some ideas and ground rules, approach gently the first time around, then rinse and repeat!

03/18/2013
Contributor: His scarlett His scarlett
Quote:
Originally posted by Bex1331
talk to her and set some parameters, but tell her you don't want her to know when so then just do it randomly a few days/weeks later
I agree with this.

It was a fantasy of mine, we talked it through and then when it happened it was a surprise, which I enjoyed.

It ended a bit prematurely though as we had involved water and it ended up dripping through the ceiling and into the kitchen below...

And it turned out to be harder for my husband than me. He knew I wanted it, he knew it was a scene, but during it he felt really uncomfortable and the water going through the ceiling was a good excuse to end it.

It turned out to be one of those things that was better as a fantasy for us, it raised too many negative feelings.
03/22/2013
Contributor: Hentialover Hentialover
Quote:
Originally posted by USJT130119200518
My wife has a rape fantasy and I want to play out the scene. But I am one for accuracy and making things as real as possiable. So long and short of it should I play out the scene when she is not expecting it for the realism of it, or should I let ... more
I'd strongly suggest making sure you know her do's and don'ts, and discuss a safe word, if you don't all ready have one. It is something you should be catious about, but I can see why you'd feel that asking her would ruin the 'surprise' but I think if you put the effort into the work, she will -or has been I asume, haha- be pleased either way ^^
03/26/2013
Contributor: chicagobearsfan chicagobearsfan
My boyfriend and I have done so without problems...a safe word or phrase is definitely necessary so that no one gets hurt, and that way you both can get into it without wondering if you're both having fun. As far as how we go about it....it usually comes up when we already plan on having sex. Then he tells me no, you don't want to. And I say ok and try to leave, and things .....escalate from there.
04/01/2013
Contributor: FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by *Camoprincess*
I am AGAINST these kinds of fantasies especially when someone is willing to full fill the fantasy rape is well to me something you do NOT want to ever happen to you fake or not!!! But if you are wanting to do it I would talk it through and make ... more
How do you mean, you're "against these kinds of fantasies"? Do you mean that you, yourself, would not be okay with entertaining such a fantasy, or do you mean that you think no one else should have them, either? A fantasy rape is an entirely different animal from a real rape. In the fantasy, the person being "raped" has (or SHOULD have!) full control over how far things go, and is able to stop the whole proceeding with a single word at any time s/he wishes. Some of the reasons this fantasy can be attractive to some people are: if someone feels inhibited about certain activities, but does want to try them, s/he can do so under the fantasy guise of being "forced" into it; the fantasy idea of being wanted so badly that the other person can't control him/herself can be very arousing; and then, of course, there are some who are turned on by feeling "helpless" and "overpowered".

Please note that all of this is in regard to CONSENSUAL FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING rape, and NOT real, nonconsensual rape.
04/01/2013