Miss Kay summed up my initial line of thought nicely.

"...but a lot of the submissive women usually do manage the household while still submitting to their husband. It normally goes on the mindset of "I want to manage all of this so my husband won't have to. So I'm still serving him while having control of all of this". Something like that."

In general, I am subservient to my beau - inside the bedroom or out. I'm a single mom, though, and I also run a business (for both our benefits) that requires me to maintain a dominant stance out in the 'real' world. This way of living has actually brought about a great contentment for me.

There are exceptions to every rule but here's my view: most folks who are dominant in other aspects of their lives might take pleasure from being submissive in the bedroom. It provides a chance for release of whatever stresses the person in question might be dealing with. And the world would be a much happier place if being submissive/subservient , in whatever capacity, was no longer viewed as a bad thing, especially as it relates to women.

I too agree with Gary, there's too many variables in this and things aren't usually so black and white.

I also don't like the wording of "whether she asks for it or not", that kind of thinking usually doesn't end well.

I think that "control of her life" can be interpretted in so many ways. I agree with many others that it isnt so cut and dry.

Perhaps people who have more repsonsabilities businesswise have a greater desire for having the release of having no responsabilities by being submissive, but as many have pointed out it is a case per case kind of thing but I too wonder if there is a trend.

In my relationship I prefer to have an egalitarian relationship where both partners do things in the house and share chores, these are just things that have to be done and are not life as it were.

I am mostly submissive in the bedroom but not as a desire for release of control but as a sexual desire of being the slutty little whore who needs to be put in her place, it makes me feel powerful knowing I have that kind of control over someone else. I have complete control of my life outiside the house, control over my decisions but do I have more control of my life then a female president of XYZ company? I thinks it is relative.

While the wording of the question is a little clumsy, I can see where it's rooted.

I'm definitely pro-autonomy and like to be in control of myself in life outside of the bedroom. I don't know that I'm very controlling of others but I do enjoy being in charge of others in a work environment and I like to hold a certain influence when communicating with my peers. I wouldn't call it a need to control because if I'm controlling someone else, that takes away their autonomy and I want them to be self-sufficient like I aspire to be self-sufficient. But I definitely like self-control and having a firm grasp on situations.

In the bedroom, I've found I'm a switch and more into sadomasochism than I am dominance-submissive play. I happen to sub more than I dom but I've been able to clarify something comparing my relationship to others. I don't feel the urge to cooperate and be submissive as much as I LOVE being dominated. The only kind of submission I really like is forced submission. It kind of demands my respect and encourages me to push my limits.

As someone clarified earlier, nothing is black and white. But I do think that this is a very well established archetype and you most certainly are not alone.

My bf is waaaaaay more a sub than I am and he prefers me to be the dominating one anyway, in pretty much all aspects, sexual or not.

I'm completely dominant in every aspect of my life and the bedroom. I'm not into being submissive at all. It doesn't fit my personality, nor does it get my kicks off in the bedroom.

We try to keep it balanced, but I'm more dominant than he is. In the bedroom, we don't really assign roles. I don't do sensual dominance with my husband or strap him, he is not a bottom! We just make love and have fun.

It would have been nice to have a simple no answer!

Personally I don't think that a controling woman is a submissive women in the bed room. As a matter of fact I know a super controling woman who is also very scarily intimidating in the bedroom. So it really depends on the person.

I couldn't say that I am in control of everything but I have a decent amount of control in my life. I am not a controling person but I make decisions for myself and I can be submissive in the bedroom. It depdends on the person and the type of relationships people have.

I'm a lifestyle submissive outside of the bedroom, and submissive there too

I'm very much in control in other aspects of my life and like to be submissive in the bedroom. But really, you shouldn't worry about whether or not you're the only one who feels that way. Do what you like to do and don't worry!

I DEFINITELY fall into this category. Im in control of every aspect of my life, and honestly, I think I wear the pants a majority of the time in my relationships. I know what I want, when I want it, and how Im going to get it. Thats just who I am.

But in the bedroom? Im totally the submissive. Whatever my partner wants to do (with limits of course. this is always discussed) I dont question and just go with it.

The thing that bothers me about this question is "whether she asks for it or not"

NO. Non-consensual acts are not ethical. IF a woman wants to be dominated, she needs to ask for it. No "assuming" that she "wants it."

That is, in a lot of people's viewpoint, non-consensual assault.

I know my wife likes it when I tie her up she pretty much runs the home

I know that I am a very controlling person but crave to be dominated in the bedroom.

Outside the bedroom, I'm a really chill, relaxed kind of person. Not terribly structured or orderly. When I'm domming, I am controlling and exacting to the nth degree. But, I only dom with my sub. With my beau, I'm the same kind of chill and relaxed - my beau isn't really into kink, so neither of us doms or subs.

Yes, definitely asking her before making assumptions is always best. I have a lot of control over things like household crap LOL and kids, work, etc. my partner and I have about the same amount of "control" in diff. areas and it's true! I'm a submissive, but he is too! Lol. I can be both and same with him so it really works out because we aren't always in the mood for the same person being the one in control so it's really fun to take turns! I'm in the "controlling" mood lately too! Guess he's going to be very lucky! Ha Ha.

It all depends on the person. Some people are going to want to submit when they're controlling everything in daily life, some are going to continue to want to dominate, and some are going to want neither.

I think it's important that you don't assume and instead ask a person what their preferences are.

Daddy (hubby) is in charge in and out of the bedroom.

Communication is the best key in this situation. She may want to control everything b/c she's doing it for the other partner in the relationship. We don't have a true D/S relationship, but I like to run things in the house and don't want to be controlled in the bedroom.

i never lose complete control anyway, but it's nice to kinda lay back and enjoy everything, and finally have someone take control. i don't feel as responsible. it's almost calming...

I voted yes. But it was a tough choice. I am in control of a lot outside of the bedroom, inside of the bedroom I like being both submissive and dominant. However, Because I am so dominant all the time it is hard for me to turn it of for more than the brief time spent in the room.

Which makes me sad because I would like to have a 24/7 lifestyle.

I prefer to be in control in and out of the bedroom. The bedroom is like any other part of my life.

My wife has a managerial job so she loves to be submissive in the bedroom. I'm usually happy to oblige unless I haven't switched in a while. I just don't like to be Dominant all the time.