Someone To Turn To For Advice, Suggestions, Etc?

Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
I joined FetLife and learned about mentors for those new to BDSM and the D/s lifestyle. I don't like the idea of a mentor, not the way it's described on there. What I do like is the thought of having a small group of people we (Master and I) can turn to when we need advice, but also build a friendship with those people. There are two people I've found on FetLife, but I am weary of them and kinda scared they may just be pervs because of the nature of the site. There's one who seems to be building up to bullying me into IM-ing that I'm close to reporting.

If there is anyone here interested in building a friendship and offering advice please message me. I don't check the forums but maybe every other day or so, if I remember at all, so posting here wouldn't help much. But I check my messages several times a day.

Thank you all so much for your time.

Missy
04/04/2012
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Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Quote:
Originally posted by Lilith Bealove
I joined FetLife and learned about mentors for those new to BDSM and the D/s lifestyle. I don't like the idea of a mentor, not the way it's described on there. What I do like is the thought of having a small group of people we (Master and I) ... more
Have you tried searching for your local kink group? Attending munches face-to-face makes a huge difference.

Don't be in a big hurry to grab onto someone to teach you. There's a ton of things that you can educate yourself on.

There's plenty of people on EF that can and will answer your questions knowledgeably when you want to ask them, so feel free. Keep in mind that you'll get all different kinds of answers because they're all different types of people involved in kink.
04/04/2012
Contributor: catsin catsin
Quote:
Originally posted by Lilith Bealove
I joined FetLife and learned about mentors for those new to BDSM and the D/s lifestyle. I don't like the idea of a mentor, not the way it's described on there. What I do like is the thought of having a small group of people we (Master and I) ... more
I've met two people off of fetlife and I've quit trying on there (one was my roommate and the other a neighbor--both pervs and RUDE about it too). Definitely a lot of inconsiderate pervs... I'm into some pretty risque things, but damn, why can't I have a friendship as well as a fuck? It seems to be strictly for play and not at all for developing real relationships, how disappointing.

It'd be neat to see the social aspect of Eden developed a little more, maybe into an alternative for purely social hook-up sites. I find sex just as wonderful an exploration as the next person, but only if there's some kind of connection.
04/05/2012
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
Quote:
Originally posted by TheSinDoll
Have you tried searching for your local kink group? Attending munches face-to-face makes a huge difference.

Don't be in a big hurry to grab onto someone to teach you. There's a ton of things that you can educate yourself ... more
That's why I want a group of people I can turn to. Ask them each the same question and pick my answer from theirs. Unfortunately I live in the middle of the Bible Belt in an itty bitty town surrounded by itty bitty towns. So, finding a munch or kink group would be a rare find, indeed! And just cause I am searching for people to help me out doesn't mean I am going to stop self educating. That's the best kind of education!! =) =)
04/05/2012
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
Quote:
Originally posted by catsin
I've met two people off of fetlife and I've quit trying on there (one was my roommate and the other a neighbor--both pervs and RUDE about it too). Definitely a lot of inconsiderate pervs... I'm into some pretty risque things, but damn, ... more
I'm not on there for play. And I've met a few people who are truly interested in sharing advice and stories. I think when I confronted with a perv I am going to go off. I would also love to see the community on Eden develop into something more than it is now.
04/05/2012
Contributor: Defiledpixxy Defiledpixxy
Quote:
Originally posted by Lilith Bealove
I joined FetLife and learned about mentors for those new to BDSM and the D/s lifestyle. I don't like the idea of a mentor, not the way it's described on there. What I do like is the thought of having a small group of people we (Master and I) ... more
I'm on Fetlife and I love it. Something about Fetlife is that just like anywhere else in society it has it's problems too. If someone is harassing you on Fetlife then you should block them and report their harassing behavior to the caretakers@fetlife.com .

Something that I suggest is instead of looking for specific people go around into the groups and look at them. Read the posts and ask for advice. After a while you'll meet people that you respect for what they say and those are the people that you can become friends with.

They also list events on Fetlife so you can look for fun low pressure social situations like a munch, where people talk and eat.
04/05/2012
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Quote:
Originally posted by Lilith Bealove
That's why I want a group of people I can turn to. Ask them each the same question and pick my answer from theirs. Unfortunately I live in the middle of the Bible Belt in an itty bitty town surrounded by itty bitty towns. So, finding a munch or ... more
Hey, I'm in Alabama... so I feel ya, but there's also a kink group in my town because we started a group on Fetlife and made it happen.


You can always shoot off questions here, too. There are people who are knowledgeable and are more than willing to give you their opinion. Just remember, that's all it is. You should take people's opinions into consideration and then make up your own mind.

The more you watch the posts in the BDSM threads, the more you'll see who you agree with. Post how you feel and what you think. You'll learn and grow as you go along, too!

04/09/2012
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
Quote:
Originally posted by TheSinDoll
Hey, I'm in Alabama... so I feel ya, but there's also a kink group in my town because we started a group on Fetlife and made it happen.


You can always shoot off questions here, too. There are people who are knowledgeable and are ... more
What part of Alabama? Like northeast? Southwest? I don't need to know your actually location, just where to look for the group at. If it's close me and Hubby may be interested in it.

I shall do that. I usually don't go to the forums all that much, but I think I may. And I know to come up with my own opinion, I'm no clone. ^_^

Thank you so much for helping.
04/09/2012